The Difference Between Boys and Girls

               Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Even though I can’t claim to know the mind of a woman, I have to say this children’s rhyme is probably true. There often is much truth in the jingles that are part of our oral tradition. Even that woman in Philadelphia who talks slutty to me when she’s wearing her six-inch heels that she calls her Fuck-me pumps, even she is a nice girl at the end of the night when she’s tired: the naughty girl act is just that, an act.

               Boys, on the other hand, are not so nice. We can’t be, how else would we balance out all that niceness inside those angels we call ‘women’? On the base layer of every man’s id is an adolescent little boy trying catch a glimpse of a lady’s private parts.

               I offer as proof the incredible success of Howard Stern among men and his near total revulsion by women.

               The Catholic Church is an interesting laboratory in which to view the disparity in the basic natures of men and women. I offer as evidence the international scope of pedophilia trials being conducted against priests and the unassailable good works of the various orders of nuns. The atrocious actions of the men are counter-balanced by the altruistic deeds of the women: yin and yang at work in a culture that denies its existence.

               Girls do have a slutty side and it is often on display in short skirts, makeup, a little wiggle in their walk, but that is not who they are beneath all that distraction. Tango, through its intimate embrace, has helped me see into many of the opposite sex and I can’t say I've seen anything there that indicates anything other than pure grace.

               As a man, I know what we guys are like when the ladies are not around and I can tell you it is nothing like what I imagine is going on with the women. This is why I believe balance is not just necessary on the dance floor it is also an important ingredient in your life.

               Men wear their higher virtues on their sleeves and display them through action for all to see. We would rather not be doing those things but we are constantly driven by a need to at least appear to be something more than what we are. That is why there are firemen and paramedics: when we were young we saw the admiration in our mothers’ eyes for such men and we knew then what we wanted to be: someone Mom admired.

               

               So there you go guys, when you feel yourself starting to ‘wander off the reservation’ and want to start opening up to your partner, don’t. There are reasons talking is discouraged in tango and the natural disparities between boys and girls is one of them.

 Note: For an in-depth look into the mind of the Kayak Hombre, read his book, available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369366756&sr=1-1&keywords=River+tango

              

Buteyko Breathing Technique, Tango and Me

               Recently, tango led me to an interesting breathing technique developed by an Ukrainian scientist to treat asthma and I thought my readers, many of them Russian, would be interested. This alternative physical therapy was suggested to me by a Durango tanguera who noticed I had difficulty breathing. I suffer from mild asthma and have resisted traditional medications in order to avoid a permanent reliance on drugs.

               I’ve written extensively on my amazement at what a partner is able to discern from the tango embrace and was surprised that my asthma was revealed. I had nearly forgotten about it, so accustomed had I grown to adjusting my breathing to facilitate it.

               Breathing while dancing has always been a problem for me, especially when I find a woman particularly attractive. My ballroom dance instructor used to look at me, stunned, because she couldn’t believe a man could hold his breath so long. Hey, I was a whitewater kayaker, periods of oxygen deprivation were normal occurrences in my life until I canoed more and kayaked less.   

               I remember a tanguera at Asada Milonga, when it was in Brookside, NJ, who shook me by the shoulders after the song finished, imploring me with these words: “Breathe, Perri, Breathe!”

               I can’t say that I’ve ever gotten over this problem but it rarely affects my performance lately, as far as I can tell.  My tanguera friend hinted there may be a solution to my dilemma, I prodded her to elaborate. She suggested I research the works of a Russian doctor named Konstantin Buteyko before she would say more.

               I did as she asked and the next time we met she delivered on her promise. Here is what I believe I’ve learned but you can find out more for yourself by looking up Buteyko Breathing Technique online. According to Buteyko, asthma is misdiagnosed hyperventilation. Instead of not having enough oxygen in our blood, he says, asthmatics don’t have enough carbon dioxide which affects the ph-balance of their blood. The off-kilter ph-balance causes problems with the blood cells carrying oxygen to our muscles.

               From what I’ve read and what was related to me by my friend, this can be corrected with simple breathing exercises. I’m all for that! Anything that doesn’t require medication is worth a try. I’ve worked out a plan to conduct the breathing exercises on my drive to Durango for tango. Stay tuned for more on this. Supposedly I’ll start seeing results in a few weeks so I’ll let you know what I find.

Confessions of a Tango Addict

               I think it’s about time I took all this material and put it into another format. Coming soon: ‘Confessions of a Tango Addict’, by Perri Iezzoni.

               It is only appropriate. I am happy here in Durango. There is plenty of tango here and in the most beautiful settings. Until I ended up in this town, I couldn’t be happy without tango, now I think I won’t be happy without Durango. Every story needs a happy ending and I know now that I can write it and still be truthful to my readers.

               It has been a long journey since I first put on my dance shoes looking for a woman to accompany me in my canoe down the river’s rapids. I thought for sure the river I’d be running would be the Lehigh or Delaware River, not the Animas River.  The only thing I knew for certain was that my heart was at the helm and I was just a passenger on this ride. It's been a rough and stormy ride but I do seem to have arrived here with my ship intact.

               I don’t know how I will be able to survive here once my contract runs out. My heart has led me to fertile soil and I’m sure I can grow here. I sense that I will find the answer while I am working on my book.

               ‘Confessions…’ is going to chronicle my path from a poorly pitched tent on a pathetic campsite along the Upper Delaware River. There I drank beer beside a tiny fire until dawn, protecting the flames with my body from a steady but light rain. I decided that night that I would not be a hermit lost in the woods. I knew I could find my way out of there if I would follow my heart. I was right. It took me to dance class, to Scranton, Bethlehem, Stroudsurg, NYC, Philadelphia, the South, to Texas and finally to the Rocky Mountains. 

                Most of my material has already been presented on this blog. I hope you find the framework with which I use to display it, interesting.

               Since I will be asking people to pay for my book I think it is safe to say that I will be throwing out all forms of politeness and respectability. There are so many things I would like to have said but was constrained by time and the nature of a blog. My description of the women will be a lot more descriptive for the men who do not have the courage to venture out of their safe little hobbit-holes and try something that would make their hearts happy. My self-analysis will be more in-depth: good fodder for any budding psychiatrists out there looking for a head to examine.

               It has been a long journey: nearly eight years since that rainy night on the river. Trust that this will not be my last blog but my posts will be less frequent: writing a book is a big task. Also, there is not that much of interest to write about other than life here is great. Tango in Durango is awesome. Our community is growing. I can be content living, loving and writing here in this town. Nobody wants to read about that: readers want turmoil, adventure and intrigue. That was my life before and I am glad I wrote about it but I am more than ready for that lifestyle to end.

               I am so glad I learned how to dance. Like tango, it can be a lifelong endeavor that rewards the body with health and brings peace to the mind. I will always work on my tango but I think I am also going to work on my West Coast Swing and Country Two-Step. There is a certain senorita that I got my eye on and I’d like to try and get her in my canoe. God willing, I will succeed.

Peace, Love, Tango

Kayak Hombre:-)

Note: For an in-depth look into the mind of the Kayak Hombre, read his book, available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369366756&sr=1-1&keywords=River+tango

Total Group Happiness = 63 ! :-D

               Tango at the Gazebo in Durango! This is an incredible weekly event and I got pictures to prove it! I am having the best time in Durango and my DWTFTs: Dances With The Finest Tangueras:-) Everybody here is working towards improving their dance and helping our small community grow with their attendance and enthusiastic support.

               I think yoga has a lot to do with our success. Keneen McNivens is our resident yoga instructor and many of her students are in our practica group.

               I don’t do yoga but I do eat yo-gurt so that is close enough. I’ve been stretching, too, but I can’t quite get myself to look deep inside my innards for the light that shines within me…that sucker is probably so bright I’ll go blind! LOL!  Tango turned that bulb on a long time ago and it’s been burning brightly ever since.

               Seriously, I think the yoga factor is a big influence on our group’s success. I can’t say exactly how the relationship works but it is my experience that thriving tango communities have a high percentage of people who are practitioners of the oriental arts, be it yoga, kung fu, tai chi or origami .

               Also, the community has a lot of transient citizens who are well-traveled and open to exploring the social art of dance. Add to that the fact that the Gazebo is smack dab in the middle of town and at a major intersection on the Animas River biking/hiking path, a busy thoroughfare that brings us many a curious passerby.  

               Last but not least is the Gazebo’s location by the river. Rivers generate lots and lots of negative ions which stimulate the pleasure receptors in our brains. Throw in some tango music and some beautiful tangueras and you have all the makings of an incredible social experience.

               I’d have to measure our Total Group Happiness, or TGH, at a 63 on a scale from 1 to 64, with 64 being the highest measurement indicating that all the participant’s bodies are oscillating at a level very near the point where they will experience Cosmic Communal Nirvana, or CCN!

               That’s all for now. I got to get ready for the Wild Horse Saloon where I will have too much fun and probably explode…fortunately I keep all my body parts numbered for just such an occasion.

PLT(peace, love, tango:-)

Perri, ‘moose and squirrel’ and Capitan Frog! Yeeeeehhhhaaaaawwww!!!!

               

(For a more in-depth looking into the mind of the Kayak Hombre and his thoughts on tango, buy his book: River Tango, now available on Amazon.com at http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527 )

Tango by the River

               In the course of my tango education I’ve discovered that tango dancing is best done outdoors. Fresh air makes everything taste better! Add a clean, free-flowing river to that equation and you have all the ingredients necessary for a direct transition to Nirvana.

               In my life, I’ve had the chance to do this three times and I am happy to say that it seems I’ve saved the best for last.

               My first outdoor tango experience was in Quebec City, during their Founder’s Day celebration, July 3, 2008, in Bassin Louise. The city put on a huge display of holographic images depicting the city’s birth and history, projected onto tall factory buildings next to the Saint Lawrence River.

               There were many fantastic scenes of whales spouting plumes of seemingly real water and groups of dolphins jumping in unison. A young lady I met at a workshop took me down there and we practiced volcadas to the music as we walked along the pier. We kept the lesson platonic but I was infatuated with her for weeks.

               The next experience was along another river on an uneven shoreline. Even on the irregular surface we managed to have a couple of tandas of great dances that I still remember to this day.

               I’ve danced twice at the Gazebo in Durango, next to the Animas River, and both times have been great. It is almost impossible not to hear the rapids over the tango music. A whitewater river guide and river runner for over thirty years, I must admit that I am biased towards settings with flowing water in the background.

               I encourage any milonguero, if they haven’t tried it already, to find a place outdoors and give tango a whirl. You may not be so partial to rivers but you may have a particular inclination towards other natural phenomenon, e.g. the wind blowing or sunsets. Whatever your predisposition, get outside and start dancing, you’re going to have the time of your life.

(For a more in-depth looking into the mind of the Kayak Hombre and his thoughts on tango, buy his book: River Tango, now available on Amazon.com at http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527 )