Learning To Lead

               It’s difficult to learn how to lead a dance in tango. Whatever brought you to tango also attracted new followers as well. You begin like an ant trying to carry a grain of rice back to the anthill. It is hard work just trying to pick up the grain. Meanwhile, the tangueras who started with you have already been to several milongas and are buying their second pair of shoes.

               Something keeps you from quitting…….but just barely. Your frustration is immense. You become defensive, start rationalizing, then channelizing before finally accepting the undeniable truth: you are clumsy. Acceptance is the final stage before true learning begins.

               You begin exercises in balance and rhythmic movement when you are alone. It is not until a frustrated follower takes the initiative to finally tell you what you are doing wrong that you lead your first back ocho. Until now you thought you had been doing it correctly but the smile on her face tells you otherwise. Now you’ve learned something; not just how to lead a back ocho, what you’ve learned is that the ‘smile’, that faint wisp of satisfaction displayed by a woman and not the broad, polite baring of teeth you get as a matter of cordiality, is the barometer by which you will now measure success.

               Your job as a leader of tango is simple. Your goal is not the execution of complex maneuvers; rather it is to elicit a positive emotional reaction from your partner. Once you’ve realized this, you have learned how to lead and the rest is all just plain fun.

 Note: For an in-depth look into the mind of the Kayak Hombre, read his book, available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369366756&sr=1-1&keywords=River+tango