Connoisseur of the Mediocre

               I love mashed potatoes. I like my coffee weak and my red wine with lots of ice. I am a connoisseur of the mediocre. I’m the kind of guy that buys a car because he likes the stereo. I’d go to Rome for a good piece of pizza:-)

               At a recent milonga in Minneapolis, a tanguera pointed out all the good dancers and suggested I dance with them. I wasn’t quite sure how to take her advice. I think it was a compliment but I didn’t know how to adequately convey to her that I was perfectly happy dancing with her.

               This wasn’t the usual tanguera ploy where I am asked to dance with a friend who’s not getting enough invites. I suspect she was just trying to be hospitable.

               Once again, I feel obliged to point out what I believe is a fundamental difference in what men and women look for in partners. IMHO, women long to dance with great leaders and men just want a relaxing dance with other women. 

               If Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were accepting applications for new partners, Fred’s line of prospects would be out the door and around the block. Ginger’s column would probably be much shorter because not many men would find the encounter a tranquil one or may suffer from performance anxiety.

               Just because a woman is a great dancer doesn’t mean guys are beating a path to her door…and she may want it that way. The expert follower executes movements without restraint. It is in her nature which is part of the reason she puts so much work into becoming a better dancer.

               As a follower’s dexterity improves, so does her susceptibility to injury. She didn’t get that good staying behind the guard rail; she’s at the edge and leaning over it! If a leader is not careful, she can take a fall.

               As a beginner/intermediate leader, I have to be aware of my faults when I engage well-practiced tangueras. Yes, I will become a better dancer if I always partner with these ladies but I will also cause them much harm as well unless they have rock solid dance floor combat experience.  I’ve danced with these girls before and I know what I’m talking about. I have just enough skill to gain their trust but not enough to guarantee an accident won't occur due to a failure in communication.

               Once, in Manhattan, I was attempting a fancy move and my partner ended up in my lap. That was not my intention. I liked the outcome but we both could have gotten hurt. I asked her why she did that and she said that was exactly what I led.

               Here is another facet to consider about skilled tangueras: they can be very demanding. That is okay at practica but not at a milonga.

               For tangueros like me, who don’t have the time, or the will, to put into achieving proficiency, it is like being an ice fisherman in the spring; we have to tread very carefully when deciding where to drill a hole in the ice. Being a better leader comes with assuming more responsibilities. To dance with the best, a leader must also be up to the task.