The Ties that Bind

                Women and men are different. The disparity between the sexes is a fact that is often ignored. Recognition of a partner’s distinction is the glue that binds in the tango connection. 

               Girls think about getting married; guys think about getting laid. Ladies pray for peace; men prepare for war.  

                I live in an apartment. It is a cottage house divided into two apartments: upstairs and downstairs. A young man lives in the upper level. He has two trucks, a fishing boat and a motorcycle. 

               This is a lot of stuff considering that he is the estranged father of a two-year old baby girl.  

               The young man’s mother arranges visitations for her son with his daughter because he won't do it on his own. She is making sure her grandchild gets to know its daddy. 

               It is interesting to watch the events unfold as the toddler inevitably brings the father around to the idea that he’s got to grow up and start providing for his offspring.

               The father and child getting to know each other is a bonding process and a very strong one at that.

               Entire societies revolve around this paradigm: sex, babies, responsibilities. Not everybody chooses this path but its existence shapes our worlds and the education of the sexes. Women seek commitment and men resist it.

               I meet many tango dancers who refuse to adhere to the status quo but it still makes up a big part of their perspective, whether they like it or not.

               In tango we must accept that there are things we can never understand, primarily the opposite sex.

               I don’t understand the words to most tango songs because I don’t speak Spanish. I would never tell someone I speak their language when I don’t. This would be an insult, as it would be if I claimed to know what it is like to be a woman.

               To admit to yourself that you don’t understand is a humbling experience. Humility is the beginning of all learning and that is where the couples must begin when they make contact.

               When you join in the tango embrace you are dancing with a stranger from a strange world. You must always keep in mind that you know nothing about that person. Every move your partner makes should be unexpected. If it is then the unexpected can happen.

               This is tango, a dance like no other. Every encounter is a gamble. For some, the outcomes of the unknowns are devastating, but for others the results are beyond their wildest dreams.