The Tangueros' Responsibility

               Dancing is good for your health. It is a low-level aerobic activity that satisfies our need for physical contact with the opposite sex as well as our desire to be part of a community of human beings, not just cowboys ‘watching over the herd’. It is my belief that a man who learns how to lead a dance must eventually acknowledge his responsibility to the community by sharing his experience with all the female dancers of his group.

               Before I started dancing I was an extremely uptight, homophobic, stress-out mother fucker. I worked with a devil and cut him no slack. I could play ruthless with the best of them: stab me in the back and I’ll stab you back…twice as hard and three times as deep. I was a father looking out for his family and I viewed myself as a shield for them against the brutal world.

               I’m sure being such a wretched soul contributed to my divorce.

               One day I began learning how to dance. I think it was my mid-life crisis. I always thought it would be bird-watching. Leading a dance is not easy and I spent many thousands of dollars and drove a hundred thousand miles to acquire the skills I needed to accomplish this to my satisfaction.

               Now I am a dancer. Not just a dancer, I am a leader of the dance…I can lead. This means a lot of things and it is not just a simple statement.  As a result of my journey, I have less stress and am not as homophobic as I used to be. I think I am a better person now.

               I have to reason that if I was a wretch before I started dancing then it is probable that the women who are beginning their journey are coming from a similar place and that they will end up in a comparable situation, a better one. They won’t get there on their own; it is up to us leaders of the dance to help them evolve and we do that by dancing with them, asking for nothing in return other than their gratitude.

               I have been to many dance communities, tango and otherwise, and have seen with my own eyes the men with skill fulfilling their responsibilities to maximum effect. I can name a few: Fearless Fire Company in Allentown, PA; Firehouse Tango in Maywood, NJ; Dance Manhattan Saturday practicas in NYC and the Wild Horse Saloon in Durango, CO. All these places have a great group dynamic. Walk in to any one of the aforementioned weekly events and a person will immediately feel the good vibrations emanating from the crowd, yes, the crowd, these places always draw a crowd.

               The situation you find will not be an accident, it will be the result of the efforts of many men who undertook the difficult task of learning how to lead a dance and then shared what they learned with the women who will surely find them.