Sex Machines

                I’d like to talk about the perception others have of dancers as compared to the perception dancers have of themselves. My sophist musings stem from a Carlos Gavito quote about the tango embrace being suggestive. He cautions that the dancers do not make it personal; they instead embrace the music. When non-dancers, like I used to be, watch dancers move, they see sex. They think of themselves in that position and realize they would be aroused if they moved so well with another person. To the uninitiated, merely observing conjures images of bedroom activities; to them two bodies moving to the music are sex machines.

               Now that I’ve become a dancer, I must tell you that what the non-dancer believes is mostly false.

               My very first dance partner was a blond-haired, Panamanian beauty whom I’ll call Lady GaGa. Lady GaGa was so incredibly sexy I could not prevent myself from commenting on her looks. She took the compliment as a matter of fact and gave me a little history lesson on the women of Panama.

               When the Panama Canal was being excavated, there were lots of men with large paychecks and no women to fleece it from them. That didn’t last long and soon the country was inundated with European ladies of the night: the proverbial fools were quickly parted from their very real dollars.

               These women weren’t outcast ‘stadda babas’ with handkerchiefs holding up what little was left of their hair and choppers carved out of a block wood in place of actual teeth. No, these were hotties and they had the brains for business...and bodies built for sin.

               Eventually these girls would be called ‘chicas’ which is short for ‘chicaria’ tree. Chicaria trees were used to make the charcoal on which these women cooked for their clients. Competition was fierce amongst these women and it wasn’t enough to be stunningly beautiful and selling what they should’ve saved for marriage, they also had to cook up a meal to attract customers.

               When the diggers went looking to lose their paychecks, all they had to do was follow their noses. If they detected the scent of chicaria tree charcoal burning, its odor very distinctive from other woods, they would say out loud, “I smell CHICAS!”

               So, here I am, dancing with this striking woman of German-Portuguese-Spanish heritage, doing everything I can to avoid getting wood. I am a forty-something man in a room full of people who don’t get out much. Everyone is my age and we’re all from small towns in northeastern Pennsylvania.

               I am so new to dancing I can’t even make my feet do cha-cha-cha after six weeks of lessons…and I’m certain Lady GaGa and I are hooking up!

               After nine weeks and the end of the class, my friend Bob sidles up close to me and asks quite stealthily, “How’d you keep from getting a hard-on?”

               Once again I tell the story how I had to recall being a river guide in the Adirondack Mountains in the early Spring, when I had to dive into the frigid waters of the Moose River. He withdraws and is impressed with my ability to maintain my composure in the face of such tantalizing sensuality.  

               This is the end of the class and this where I first became acquainted with the reality that all dancing does not lead to sex. That was nine years ago.

               It took me years to look at people moving and see the hard work they had put into their dance. They do this because they love to dance, not because they want to be sex machines.

               Often I find myself dancing with a tanguera and I notice immediately that she has put so much effort into her dance that I am in awe. It is difficult for me to rise to the occasion and be the kind of dancer she deserves; sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. Whether I do or not is irrelevant. What matters now is that I have the utmost respect for my partner. I now know I must treat her like any decent human being would want to be treated and not like some sex machine.

               

Note: for an in-depth look at what men think while dancing with women, read my book, River Tango, available here: http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527