Gender Identity Confusion

               The rule in tango is that the follower is always right. Novice tangueras have a difficult time believing this. In tango, it is imperative that a woman asserts herself. She does this through her assumption that she is following whatever the leader communicates to her. Opposite of the fact that the leader must always question himself, the woman should never do this. Her brain is off. When she does not believe in the righteousness of her actions then the condition I call 'gender identity confusion' develops. 

               In tango, the leader is responsible for the communication of the couple’s intended movement. If the leader were the driver in a car and he turned the steering wheel to the left, he could not dispute that is the direction he gave to the vehicle. If he steered left and the car moved right, the car is broken. If the follower moves in a direction other than where the leader thinks she should go, then he was mistaken.

               In America, we are taught to be sensitive to all sorts of failure but it is not that way in tango. If a man’s lead is inadequate then the woman must not respond. Any attempt to compensate for his mistake creates more problems for the next woman on his dance card.

               This is how a guy ends up thinking a woman failed to perceive his lead and that he must then explain it; he has danced with too many women who accommodate his errors by guessing his intentions instead of reading them through his frame. If the woman cannot discern the lead then the leader must assume his efforts are unclear.

               I've seen so many women get confused when a man tells them they are not following correctly, something he should NEVER do! These ladies know in their hearts that what the man is saying is an absolute contradiction to what he communicated in his lead. A follower suffering from gender identity confusion guesses where to move which is contrary to the information she is receiving through the tango embrace. I can't say why women don't immediately rebuff their partners when this happens, but not doing so results in harm to themselves and lots of others down the line.

             
Note: For an in-depth look into the mind of the Kayak Hombre, read his book, available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369366756&sr=1-1&keywords=River+tango