Paula Tejeda & Lucas Carrizo / René Torres & Junko Mori: Tango Superheroes

               Durango will never be the same. For the last two years we’ve been growing our tango community by leaps and bounds but I don’t think anyone was prepared for what happened last Monday.

               Two months ago, I was contacted by a woman named Michele Delgado, a tanguera and an event organizer who frequently hosts milongas at The Savoy in Denver. She said she had been reading my blogposts about the tango scene in Durango and wondered if we’d be interested in hosting two couples who were the Buenos Aires Tango Champions in 2010. She told me that we wouldn’t have to do much, just supply her with a contact to the local dance studio and she would do the rest.

               Who could turn down an offer like that? Certainly, not me. During the past year and a half, I’ve come to know and love the denizens of this tiny mountain town near Colorado’s Rocky Mountains southern border.  If I could expose them to some tango greats and some great instruction as well, then maybe I could pay this town back for at least some of the tremendous hospitality it has shown me the past eighteen months.

               In Durango, they are passionate about their dances and that includes the tango. On Monday, they would meet two young couples who are equally passionate about their dancing, especially the tango. They are emissaries to the world, spreading the gospel of this dance to all who will listen.

               Two weeks before their arrival, Michele called with a special request: would I be willing to take these young instructors down the Animas River since I call myself the Kayak Hombre? I was ecstatic! I’d been dying to get out on the water one last time before I departed for Fargo, the place of my next telecom contract.

               If there’s one thing I love more than tango, it is river running. And, if there’s any way to make that more enjoyable, it is by showing other tango enthusiasts what a wonderful playground a whitewater river can be. Once more I’d get to call myself a river guide and I was damn glad to have the opportunity!

               I had to scramble to assemble enough gear. Thanks to my lovely friend and canoe partner, Ljuba, and a novice tanguera and outdoor enthusiast named Meg, I was able to garner enough boats, paddles and lifejackets to support a ragtag armada on a safe descent down the river.

               Normally, the Animas River is too low to float in the middle of the summer. Recent rains, however, had raised the flow to cover the rocks and brought back the waves we had seen earlier in the season.

                When I finally met Paula, Junko, René and Lucas, I was not surprised to find that they were well-mannered and incredibly good-looking; most Argentines are. I’ve never been there but my guess is that they hail from a nation full of tall, genetically perfect humans who live in fear of being impolite.

               Maybe, I thought, a day on the river would bring out their flawed inner selves. That was not the case. When we started, it was a hot day with nary a cloud in the sky. Ninety minutes later, the weather turned nasty. The blue skies became dark with clouds. The hot, still air became cold and the wind blew with ferocity; this not uncommon during a southern Rocky Mountains summer. In spite of the conditions, our guests remained in high spirits.

               The lightning started just as we passed beneath the 15^th Street Bridge. Ljuba and I had our hands full steering the canoe to shore with Meg in tow behind us in an inner tube. Paula and Junko were also in tubes while René and Lucas manned the inflatable kayak.

               After the bridge, Junko got caught in an eddy behind one of the bridge pillars. René and Lucas fought the river’s strong current to reach her. Paula was swept past everybody by a strong blast of wind and was heading downstream into the rapids without us. Because of the lightning, we needed to get off the water and it was imperative that she get to shore.

               In the span of ten minutes, our sunny day had changed into a violent thunder and lightning storm. It was not raining very hard but the air temperature had dropped significantly and it seemed as if the clouds would burst at any moment. I feared that Durango might miss its one and only opportunity to meet world champion tango dancers.

               Briefly, I imagined Junko slipping below the surface one last time, her tiny hand stretched out above the surface to grasp a last minute rescuer that would never come. Paula was obviously headed for the Grand Canyon on her river tube, never to be seen again. I pictured myself explaining to Michele what had happened to her friends.

               Fortunately, none of those things happened! Even the swift currents of the Animas River could not prevent René from reaching his young wife, aided by his good friend, Lucas.  On my direction to head for the riverbank, Paula extended her torso into the cold water and paddled herself straight to the shore before she was drawn into the rapids.

               Wow, I thought to myself, these are not the athletically-challenged city-slickers of New York City, obnoxious tourists trying to drown themselves in the fast currents of the Lehigh River, the last place I worked as a river guide. These are superbly capable young adults and they aren’t counting on me to find their way down this waterway; they are making their own way in spite of the obstacles they encounter.

               Earlier, in a calm spot in between rapids, René told us that they had been all over the world; most recently in Rome, Beijing, Shanghai and Hong Kong. I was impressed. When I was their age, I was still counting which states I’d been to and the list was not very long. These guys were real global travelers and it showed!

               Once on shore, I produced some warm sweaters and river jackets for the ladies. In five minutes, all was right again in the world and everyone was happily dipping their hands into a large bag of potato chips. The girls left us at this point because Lucas, René and I decided that we needed to get back on the water to get the larger boats to a place where we could take them off the river. Lucky for us that the rain never became more than a trickle but the lightning bolts were still very intimidating.

               One of the many nice things about Durango is that the Animas River flows right through the middle of town. Getting caught beneath an angry cumulonimbus cloud doesn’t have to be an all day ordeal in the wilderness, as I’ve experienced on many other whitewater rivers back East. While we made our way downriver, the women went to the Durango Discovery Museum, http://www.durangodiscovery.org/.

               In an hour’s time, we were all warm and seated at a table in Carver’s Brewery, http://carverbrewing.com/, one of the best places to eat in Durango!

               A short while later, the class began at Durango Dance. 

               The four river rats I left at the restaurant had been transformed into a group of fairy tale characters or dancers from the cast of Dancing With The Stars! To look at them, one would know instantly that this is a troupe of trained professionals.

               To see Paula and Junko walk into the crowded room at Durango Dance, you’d think we’d never seen such beautiful women. Well, we hadn’t. Not like this. They were both absolutely stunning!

               Paula was dressed in short denim shorts and some sort of dark blue cloth napkin tied on with blue strings. Va-va-va-vooooooomm!

               Junko was also a vision to be hold but in a different sort of way. She is like a work of art carved by Michelangelo but she is no stone; she is friendly and bubbling with enthusiasm. Something about her inspires me to think about a warm summer morning when the sun is rising and the birds are singing. I think she may be a princess:-)

               The thing that always blows me away when I meet gorgeous female tango instructors is that they are intelligent and mature. Learning how to dance is serious business. I don’t know how many classes I’ve been to where somebody felt compelled to act like a clown. The demeanor of these two women quelled any urges we might have had to act silly. We were lucky to have them here and none of us wanted to waste a second of our time with these gifted tangueras who could teach us so much.

               Paula and Junko are the kind of women who inspire writers to create heroines that women can look up to and be proud of.  They are so young yet they are such great role models!

               They also make a fantastic teaching team. While one explains the follower's movement, the other watches the class and offers insights from her observations. 

                Paula’s shorts were not just for show. They enabled her to present an excellent view of exactly what a follower’s back step should look like. I wonder if any of my readers have been in a class where the instructor has to lift up her dress to show what is going on with her legs. Tango is an illusion and it is difficult for followers to see what is happening inside the dress, yet it is information they desperately need if they wish to get better.

               I could talk about Paula and Junko all day but I need to let you know that all four instructors worked together to deliver an incredibly powerful tango lesson. They do this in perfect harmony and I don't think this kind of lesson could be duplicated by a single pair of teachers. When they are instructing, all four are watching everybody, explaining to the individual or the entire class as needed, with no discernible dissensions from their other team members. In this endeavor, they are all equal.

               Let me say a few things about René and Lucas.

               First, they are obviously good friends and get along tremendously.

               Second, they are Argentine tangueros.  No man dances tango like an Argentino. When he intends to dance, he does it with his entire body. His toes, feet and ankles provide the foundation for calves and thighs to support the hips, chest, neck and head in laser straight formation, full of potential energy. Just standing there, a bystander can tell that he is ready to move and feel that he is full of passion. By his posture and the look on his face, anyone can see that he is ready to dance tango….or kill somebody!

               This is true only for Argentine men and one of the best reasons to get the authentic product from the land where the dance was born. To see these men walk is like watching a puma move through the jungle. Each step is separate, precise and very deliberate. All the movements they make are executed to perfection and with serious intention.

               Unlike many male tango instructors, these guys danced with many of our women. I could not give a greater gift to the tangueras of our community and I will forever be in the debt of these two men.

               One of our ladies came up to me afterwards and said, “Wow, I never thought I’d get a chance to dance with a world champion leader….it was awesome!”

               My only worry Monday was that these two extremely accomplished couples would teach concepts too difficult for our nascent milongueros to understand. Would they be able to see that we needed to work on the fundamentals and, paradoxically, that we are starving for new patterns because we are, after all, Americans?

               I did not need to be concerned because what they taught was exactly what our people needed. They must have discerned this from our warm-up exercises and watching us dance. They are very observant and obviously much more experienced than their youthful exteriors betray.

               They started with caminar(walking) and then introduced a simple movement that incorporated some minor contra-body rotation. The crux move was also simple and something quite common in tango dancing. I’m not sure what is called but it looks like a tiny colgada that is really just a simple giro. It is a movement I’ve often attempted but never mastered….until now!

               Thank you so much, Michele Delgado, for bringing such wonderful tango instructors to Durango. Our town will never be the same. There is a difference between ordinary and extraordinary. Lucas, Paula, Junko and René are obviously the finest examples of the latter. Thank you all for coming to Durango! I hope I speak for our entire tango community when I offer our extreme gratitude for making your way here. As a result of your collective efforts we are better dancers. We will always remember you fondly.

Sincerely,

Kayak Hombre,

a.k.a. perri iezzoniJ

If you’d like to catch up with René, Junko, Paula and Lucas, you can find their schedule here: http://morethantango.com/Welcome.html

I took some pics of our day’s adventure. Enjoy!

For more writings by the Kayak Hombre, check out his book, River Tango, available on Amazon:

Note: Check out my new book on Amazon: Fear of Intimacy and the Tango Cure.

http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1371659630&sr=1-1&keywords=river+tango

Old Men and Young Women

               I’m fifty-three years old. I can remember when I thought forty was old. I know some people will not think this is very old but I am reasonably certain that a person in their twenties thinks it is very old. 

               Lately, we’ve had quite a few young women, twenty-somethings, attending our practicas. Most of our leaders are in their fifties, like me. The following post is for them and others like us who wonder about the best way to conduct themselves when dancing tango with younger women.

               First, let me tell you a story.

               I got divorced when I was thirty-nine. One of the first things I did was to find a whitewater rafting outfitter and renew my credentials as a river guide. On my first social adventures as a bachelor, I found it difficult to look at other women in a sexual way.  

               By the end of the spring season, the river water warmed up and temperatures increased. There were many young ladies there, mostly college students or high school graduates looking for a fun summer job. Being a friendly guy with lots of river running experience, I became close to many of them. By summer, these girls were wearing next to nothing and it was at that time that I began to look at them with a hunger instead of as an androgynous river guide.

               I didn’t know how to deal with these feelings at the time and I struggled to come up with a respectable solution. With no wife to stop me from foolish behavior, it didn’t take long for me to conceive a course of action that I thought would be beneficial to all involved.

               My plan was to see if I could get a date with the mother of a young lady I found attractive. I figured that, if I liked her, her mother must be just as good and closer to my age. As I found myself engaged in pleasant conversation with a young woman, I’d ask if her mother was single and if she thought her mom might be amenable to dating a stranger. 

               In two weeks, I systematically pissed off every female river guide at that facility.

               I embarrassed myself so bad that I had to leave. It was my first foray into the world of dating and I had failed miserably. I was so unhappy with myself that I developed ‘dater’s block’: the inability to proposition a member of the opposite sex to dinner or a movie. It would be eight years before I could invite a woman to dinner or a movie...or anything else. 

               Since I had plenty of time to ponder the inappropriateness of my actions, I came up with the following conclusions.

               First, never ask a girl what her mother is doing for dinner. This is wrong on so many levels! I think the most obvious one that stands out is the fact that most young ladies don’t like to think about their parents dating. It is a distasteful scenario for them to conjure and anyone who forces them to do so will be the subject of their ill will.

               Second, the aforementioned proposition says something else by what it does not say.

               The word she hears that are not spoken, are, “I would not like to go out with you.”

               I found the unintended message a surprise. Their reaction to it told me that, even though I stood no chance of getting a date with these women, they still expected to be treated like it was an option. What I said was disrespectful and respect is very important to a woman.

               To this day I still feel awkward when dancing tango with a young hottie. This is not because I am sexually attracted to them, although that is always a possibility. My discomfort stems for the enormity of the challenge I face when I embrace a young tanguera. Another man in this situation might not have the same experience as me but I would guess that any father of daughters would sympathize with me.

               A young woman is an atomic explosion waiting to happen. As a result of her actions, the people she meets and the lovers she takes, the world will change significantly. This is not necessarily so for a young man. If he has no aspirations, he might be quite content to be a bump on a log at the hole in the bottom of the sea.

               It is my belief that, because women can have babies, they are tied into a cosmic strand in the universe that allows them to sense what is, and what may be, in the future. This affects them physiologically and they are often guided by this quantum thread towards a destination that they can’t quite quantify.

               This is something that must be taken into consideration when she is in your embrace. At this point in her brief life, she has not sufficiently developed her navigational skills when using her 'intuitive compass'. If you knock her off course, she might lose confidence in her path-finding abilities and never make her way to where she needs to be in the world. 

               This would be a tragedy!

               As a seasoned tanguero, I have decided that it is best to keep a tight grip on my heart in these situations. She needs to experience the proper lead for a wide variety of movements and it is up to me to give her that. That she is dancing with me at all is incredibly delightful and I must be satisfied with this as a reward for my efforts and self-control.

               I always thought I would get over my unease with younger women as I danced more tango but that is not the case.  Several times I've failed to tether my heart and found myself extremely infatuated with a partner half my age. Once I allow myself to imagine a scenario with the two of us as lovers, it is as if a rocket has taken off and I am hanging onto it with a rope. After the fuels runs out, I find myself plummeting back to Earth in a severe funk. 

                 I’ve often seen other men my age, and older, on a similar celestial journey. Having been on that trip, I can safely say that we can't help ourselves once the fuse has been lit. Everything she does is magnified in our eyes. Her pleasure is our extreme pleasure, her dissatisfaction is our hell.

               It is important to treat any tanguera with respect but even more so with the younger ones. A more experienced lady will not be so easily offended by the stupid things a man can say and do while in her close proximity. Chances are that a younger woman has been drawn to this dance for the same reason many others are: she has been wounded. She needs the comfort of another person’s body and to be guided around the dance floor to the music in order to find true healing.

               When I think of the kind of injury a young woman must live with, I almost always imagine sexual abuse. I ponder how awkward it must be to crave communal comfort while simultaneously wanting to avoid exposure to a situation that puts her in the arms of a strange man.

               This is the kind of problem tango deals with so well. However, the young woman must be courageous enough to venture into the crowd and leave her fears behind. She must permit herself to be vulnerable in order to find the relief that she intuitively desires.

               Seven years into my tango education, I can say that I am safely in control of my emotions. Now, when I see old men dancing tango with young women, I can appreciate the delicacy of the situation. One person is highly volatile and the other is old enough to know better.

               It is as if they are dancing on a narrow ledge above a tall cliff. The sheer vastness of the space below is constantly pulling them over the edge. Some will part company safely but others will fall. It is a danger we all face when dancing tango, the battle between our primordial selves and our desire to control our own destiny. May the best man win.

For more insight into the mind of the Kayak Hombre, read his book, River Tango, available on Amazon: 

http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1371659630&sr=1-1&keywords=river+tango

               

Step by Step, Slowly She Turns

               She sat across the table from me at a recent milonga, her body played out across two chairs. I knew what she wanted even though she seemed to be talking to another woman at my table. After several minutes, she turned to me and asked if I remembered her from a milonguero-style workshop we’d both attended a year ago.

               I could recall the event but not her face, yet I told her that I did. When I heard the words ‘milonguero-style’, they left a bad taste in my mouth. I’d been struggling with this way of dancing for a long time. It wasn’t until I’d completed the workshop that I could finally make a thorough analysis of how I felt about it.

               For the uninformed, allow me to offer a description of this style of tango dancing. It is very close, most of the diaphragm is in complete and constant contact between the two dancers. Of the women I’ve danced with who prefer this technique, I've noticed that their pivot is almost silent. As the leader, it is incumbent upon me to indicate direction with my chest in a highly animated manner. The focus of milonguero-style is almost entirely on the embrace.

               Although I've encountered tangueras who danced this way before, it wasn’t until I arrived in Albuquerque that I began to suspect that these women were looking for something that I couldn’t offer. In such circumstances, when I entered the embrace I gave the follower two seconds to make the connection. If she didn’t bond with me satisfactorily in that time frame, I forced her into open embrace, much to her consternation.

               After the aforementioned workshop, I began to realize that these ladies were expecting to take five to ten seconds to complete the union. To them, this was the most important part of the dance and I think it is the part that gives them the most satisfaction.

               A year later I am a little wiser. Now I know to give these particular partners a little more time to settle onto my frame. I can even spot women who practice this manner of tango before I offer them a cabeceo. Another thing I’ve noticed is that I don’t want to engage a milonguero-style dancer unless the right music is playing.

               Maybe it’s me, it usually is, but I find this mode of dancing so restrictive that I often get bored with myself halfway through the first song. The most pleasant thing about milonguero-style is that the woman’s breasts are constantly being mashed, swept or brushed against my chest: very nice:-) Aside from that, all we are doing is caminada, or walking, and ocho cortado.

               Every time I lead molinete, the follower almost always performs two cruzadas. This is highly disconcerting. Also, the lack of pivoting action is so disappointing, I sometimes fail to hide my dissatisfaction. When this happens, I sense a strong feeling of confusion in my partner.

               After a lot of thought and a year of study, I can safely say I am ambivalent about milonguero-style. I think it is my responsibility as a leader to accommodate a woman if she prefers to dance this way.  To be fair to myself, I must pay more attention to how a woman dances before I offer an invitation. If the music isn’t right or her breasts are uninteresting, I shouldn’t proffer an invite.

               I know, guys, there are no such things as ‘uninteresting breasts’.

               If I had my ‘drathers’, I’d rather dance with a partner who can pivot on her own axis and is comfortable moving into and out of the embrace all throughout our engagement.

               As I stated earlier, the aforementioned woman was sprawled across two chairs, chatting up my friend. She casually conversed with me after a few minutes. I took this as a crafty way to get me to offer an invite but I lost interest as soon as she said "milonguero-style". It was the music. Also, I’d been focusing on tangueras who enjoyed this manner of dancing all weekend and was finally coming to the conclusion that everything needed to be just right before I could enjoy myself in such an encounter.

               It was Sunday night and I’d been to four milongas in less than forty-eight hours. My left knee was aching and both my feet were on fire. I was content to sit through many tandas and watch people move around the dance floor.

               Several times I noticed her sitting down at the end of a tanda. Each time I avoided eye contact when she happened to see me looking in her direction.

               After an extremely exuberant tanda of classic milonga melodies danced with an extraordinarily skilled and delightful tanguera, I finally did make eye contact with the other woman. It was almost the end of the evening. For some reason I knew the time was right. I could see her disappointment when our eyes met and then her confusion as I did not turn away, nodding towards the open dance floor.

               She got up, smiled suspiciously and joined me. I gave her enough time to appropriately settle into my frame like a bird landing on its nest in the branches of a tree. Her breasts felt nice against my chest. Her body was soft but not too soft and she smelled nice, even after three hours of dancing.

               When the music began, we walked to the melody the entire length of the room. I led ocho cortado, then molinete; she executed two cruzadas instead. It was easy to hide my disappointment because I had been expecting them.

               I led a long side step and took her into en carpa position, the tent. Our bodies still joined closely at the chest, I was free to pivot her easily. We played with simple steps together. I was having a good time. It was then that I realized the music was just right. I lost my inhibitions about milonguero-style and began to relax.

               On the final song I received a tremendous return for my efforts: she pivoted of her own accord! I led an ocho and she turned, slowly, and with deliberation. It was incredibly clear and resonant. She carved an arc on the wooden floor like the gentle sweep of an asteroid around the sun of my soul. She gave it to me like a gift.

               I don’t know why she pivoted so well and to my complete satisfaction. Maybe I finally led it right, maybe it took us three songs to finally sync up with each other. Was she ‘learning’ me? Whatever the reason, it felt very nice and I found myself infatuated with her. Such is the power of tango.

               It was the end of an awesome weekend of tango dancing. Once again I found myself carrying wisps of another person’s ethereal soul with me as I headed home that night. I had learned something new. I was humble and patient. The universe rewarded me by allowing me to peer into a woman’s soul and it was beautiful.

Note: for more writings by the Kayak Hombre, check out my book, River Tango, available on Amazon: 

http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1371659630&sr=1-1&keywords=river+tango

Las Puertas Tango Marathon | July 2013

               If you were a tango dancer in Albuquerque this past weekend then you must have attended the tango milonga marathon at Del Las Puertas. It didn’t occur to me until Sunday night what was unique about this gathering of milongueros and then it struck me: the women were happy. Well done, my fellow tangueros, the impossible has been accomplished!

               Too many times have us men been subjected to the lamentations of the fairer sex about the lack of dance invites at tango gatherings. I didn’t hear any complaints from the women in our group about any of the five milongas I attended on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The only whining being done was by my feet and knees at Sunday’s end.

               I was pleased to see the vast warehouse that encompasses the dance floor and tables of Del Las Puertas filled with dancers when I arrived Friday night. It is a huge space that makes the weekly milongas held here almost every Saturday night seem to be lightly attended, even with a good turnout. I’d estimate this Saturday night’s attendance at nearly two hundred people.

               Milongueros came from as far away as Florida, as well as from neighboring states. A sizable contingent came down from Denver. There were so many skilled dancers I’d have to label this event as the 'West’s Best Milonga!' Without a doubt.

               It was much more than a milonga. There were guest lecturers and instructors for those who couldn’t get enough tango at milongas. And there were prizes, lots of prizes! I won two gift certificates for local restaurants which helped the Kayak Hombre with his finances.

               Now that I’ve gone once, I wouldn’t miss this for the world. You should go, too! See you there in 2014! Check them out on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/karen.reck/media_set?set=a.10201379481510813.1073741835.1287356897&type=1

That blond guy with the red-head hottie is me:-D

She's my favorite ABQ tanguera:-)

Don’t forget to buy my book http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1371659630&sr=1-1&keywords=river+tango