What A Man Wants: 98 point 6 and Breathing

               Oh how nice it would be to never know the cold, to never know fear, pain or sadness. Or would it really be so nice? A tango dancer knows that is not true. Our experience with the cold makes us appreciate the warmth with indescribable pleasure; the pain of a heart that is broken teaches it to care the next time love comes near; it is fear that helps us to see how many important things there are in our lives. It is our struggle that helps us grow and it is in growing that we are truly happy.

               This is also true in tango: if we danced perfectly, right from the start, we would never fully experience the pleasure of dancing tango because we would have missed the essential ingredient: our failures. Our  flawed attempts at movement with a partner in concert with the music are the mystery spices that make each encounter unique and provide a couple with the opportunity to send their souls to the stars.

               A novice tanguera can take heart in the fact that her inexperience is not a deficit; in fact it is quite the opposite. She should not listen to those naysayers who tell her, or she might even tell herself, that the skilled tanguero is only dancing with her because it makes him feel superior, for that is not the case. This may be true in other circumstances where men and women work together but not in tango; tango is different.

               I spent four years learning how to tango before I got laid off and began to travel and dance all around the country. At the end of my fourth year I was a regular at the Saturday afternoon practicas at Dance Manhattan in New York City. From 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. some of NYC’s most dedicated milongueros gathered to hone their skills.

               There is another practica that follows; it is for beginner’s. Nearly all the women of the earlier practica depart but most of the very experienced leaders stay.  This baffles many of the women from the first group who dismiss the phenomenon offhandedly. Several times I have seen experienced tangueras stay, looking for more dances but they are offended and perplexed by the apparent hunger the men have for these untrained women. Such is the chemistry between leaders and followers.

               So many times I have heard experienced tangueras at Dance Manhattan’s first practica say, “Oh, I know why you stay, because you want to be a big man with the girls who know nothing.”

               It is useless to debate that point anywhere else other than in your own blog. Ladies believe what they believe because they do not know what it is to be a leader; what responsibilities we have and how that brings us great joy.

               Sometimes we find extreme delight dancing with women who have no skills whatsoever. To be the first ‘real’ leader a woman encounters is an honor and an incredibly exhilarating sensation. If a man does his job well she will grow exponentially within the short span of time of their engagement. Working with an experienced tanguera can take weeks to see a fraction of the results achieved with a virgin tanguera. A leader in this position takes great satisfaction in offering her a proper invitation to move for the first time.  

               This is a selfless act. Often young women take it the wrong way. After their initial euphoria wears off, they eye their first leader with distrust. An older middle-aged woman is not so suspicious. She knows when she has been given a gift and is wise enough to see the strings attached if this gift was not meant from the heart. She takes the present and is grateful which is all the reward a man ever needs. Eventually the young lady begins to see it the same way and joins in the dance of tango as she should: untethered.

               

Disappearing Hobbit Puppies and the Killing of Children

               Today we ‘disappeared’ some more of our loved ones. Unlike Argentina, a country well-versed in this phenomenon, we know where they went and how they got there but we are still powerless to stop them from taking our babies. Like Argentina, we dance a tango praying they are not out there, waiting for us.

               It is almost like we are a litter of puppies living with a python in our midst. It is not like we are oblivious to its presence. We all scream, “murderer, thief, Baggins.” But we are all treated like Gollums, as if we don’t count, that our pain does not matter.

               Our children and our loved ones must die so that a few shooting ranges and gun manufacturers will survive.

               A saner Hobbit might ask, “When will we begin to see reality?” But, since Hobbits are not real, that question will never reach the ears of our legislators.

               We are lost in the fantasy that our guns protect us from a horrible monster and we are too blind to see that the horrible monster is the very guns we pray to for protection. 

Repost: Why Women Can't Lead

"While I dance with her, I have a diamond in my arms, and nobody can touch it or hit it. The woman I dance with should fall in love with me during the tanda.” (Flaco Dany)

               It takes two to tango. Usually, it is a man and a woman. Often, I have seen women attempting to lead but the best they can do is pretend. Part of what makes this dance so addicting, frustrating and enjoyable, is its effects on us physically, emotionally and mentally. The reason for this is a ‘chemical’ reaction, built into our DNA code, that is triggered when we interact through tango.

               Recently, I received an email accusing me of coming across as "an imbecile high school senior", so I’m gonna try and be smart. I think ‘smart’ would avoid trying to fit gay couples into my explanation of why I think women can’t lead. I’m simply going add a caveat of ‘except for gay women’ and hope everyone realizes I’m excluding them.

               The chemistry is the most important thing, but let us take a look at all the other things involved in this complex task. Honestly, I don’t know how a guy ever learns this dance without a woman to inspire him. A leader must listen to the music and interpret it into dance moves that he must then communicate to his partner. Don’t forget to navigate the crowded dance floor while avoiding obstacles, like pillars, chairs and tables.

               Take into consideration that this is done with a member of the opposite sex, genetically designed to compel us to propagate the species, and you have a real challenge. Let’s make this even harder, throw in a man who is full of flaws and don’t let him begin until he is forty-seven. Okay, start leading!

               To help you understand, let me tell you about my experience with a woman I met while learning tango. She is blond and tall. To me she seemed to wear a lot of makeup. I had no experience with girls who wore makeup until I started dancing. So, I assumed she wore perfume, too. Because of my allergies, I shied away from dancing with her.

               On a side note, my allergies were a big problem until I went on a detox diet for allergens: no potatoes, green peppers, spinach, bread, tomatoes or pasta. Basically, everything I ate. After a month, I was not so sensitive to women’s perfume or makeup. Some perfume never bothered me, such as Victoria’s Secrets ‘Pure Seduction’ and Christian Dior’s ‘Pure Poison’.

               Back to the tall, German fraulein. She always made sure I knew that she was hoping I’d ask her to dance. One day, while I was dancing with her, I told her I have a problem with perfume. She said, “I’m not wearing any perfume.”

               Nervously, I inhaled and paid attention to the air: not a whiff of chemical enhancements. She was right. I realized, then, I had been unfairly ignoring this woman, based on the false assumption that makeup has to travel with perfume. Like the Grinch’s heart, as he sits on top of the highest peak, looking down upon Whoville and all the Whos who are singing, my heart grew three sizes larger that day.

               I started paying attention to this woman and noticed that she was always improving. I began inviting her onto the floor more often and I found myself truly enjoying our education in tango together.  In our embrace, I could feel how much this woman enjoyed the music and delighted in dancing with me. I think I’ve said this before: one of the greatest joys in tango is dancing with someone you love…who also loves dancing with you.

               This nasty email I mentioned before, said, “you're a sad, narcissistic, two-bit loser!” Not exactly like that, I had to correct the spelling and the punctuation. I don’t necessarily disagree with that statement. I’m unemployed, so ‘loser’ fits. I am sad…sometimes, and it probably shows in my writing. I spent a lot of time learning how to lead tango, so women would be happy to dance with me. I expect them to be happy, so that does make me narcissistic. There’s a little bit of performance anxiety, here, too, but I’m up for the challenge.

               It takes a man to realize he was wrong. Only a man can be stupid enough to overlook the beautiful person inside the woman. But it takes a man to take another look and see how truly wonderful she is. And only a man can be as happy as I am to dance with her to this very day.

               Men can be childish, stupid and insensitive. In order for us to make the commitment it takes to become a leader in tango, it takes a man full of passion for women. He must have the heart of a poet. When he begins his journey, he does not leave behind his childishness, his stupidity or his insensitivity. Because of his passion, he becomes a leader in spite of those things. His faults are his stumbling blocks but this is where the true lessons are: in stepping over them.

               Our job, as leaders, is not limited to just one woman. It is our responsibility to dance with all of them. And that is why I say a woman can’t lead, it takes a man with the appetite, with love and compassion his heart, for all women, to do the job and do it well.

 Note: For an in-depth look into the mind of the Kayak Hombre, read his book, available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369366756&sr=1-1&keywords=River+tango

Tango 1 CIA 0

Kayakhombre Washington Office

               It looks like another victim has fallen to the siren song of tango. General H. A. Petreaus, head of the Central Intelligence Agency, resigned suddenly when it was discovered he’d been spotted dancing tango regularly with the head of the Italian Intelligence Agency, Admiral Mama Mia Luigi. Was it the music, the close contact of this incredibly passionate dance imported from the brothels of Buenos Aires, Argentina, or was it her thick dark mustache and four o’clock shadow that made him long for the ladies of Baghdad?

               Stay tuned for more on this late breaking story.   

               

Aztec Tango Society

               We met again last night for the first time in two months and the practica was a complete success! Attendance was double what it was in August so we were quite pleased with ourselves. We worked on retaining what we learned about milonga-style from Tom Stermitz and Amy Beaudet’s workshop last month, as well as the last Les Linton class three weeks ago.

               Atticus, the one-eyed dingo dog was glad to see another female in our group but he was greatly displeased to have to deal with another man and he mostly hid behind the furniture and sulked. This disposition is much improved from his initial introduction to tango and I look forward to petting him one day and having him like me.

               We worked on improving our ability to move around our partners while maintaining our own axis. We also practiced exiting back ochos and going to the cross to the tango rhythm.

               Hopefully next week we will work on tango vals and front boleos.

Peace, Love,

Kayak Hombre

Vice President, Aztec Tango Society

Why Doesn’t He Ask Me To Dance?

               The purpose of my blog, sometimes, is to allow women to see the thought process of a man involved in various tango activities. Today's topic: how I decide to ask a woman to dance. You may find my reasoning confusing, even maddening, and that’s probably the appropriate reaction.  

               Occasionally I am well rested and eager to explore as many new partners as possible. Often I am tired or my left knee is throbbing with pain. Once I get on the dance floor and hear that tango music, my fatigue dissipates and I forget all about my aching joints. This is tango. It is my drug of choice. When I imbibe my body responds with adrenalin that allows me to dance in spite of weakness or injury. When I am in my chair Newton’s Law of Motion is in effect: a body at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by another force.

               I am quite certain that force is within, on or around any tanguera in search of a dance. This is a big subject so I will break it down into three sections.

               What is within the tanguera? If I don’t know her I’ll make an assumption as to her ability just from looks. Looks say a lot. Posture conveys whether she is eager, too eager or not interested. Shoes indicate skill level to a certain extent: sneakers=no skill; pumps=some skill; practice shoes=skilled/over-skilled; high heels=target tanguera:-)

               There can be an ethereal force within a lady that draws me to her. When this is present, ability is inconsequential. It is not a power that can be denied. It compels me to persuade her to join me on the dance floor. I will take the utmost care with this dance invite because failure here is not an option.

               The second set of criteria I consider is what she is wearing. Once again, the shoes say a lot but here I am strictly evaluating my reaction to the appearance of her shoes. Like the bright, shiny object the hypnotist uses to mesmerize his subject, so too is the effect of a striking pair of high heels on the prospective tanguero.

               Is she wearing a bra? This always works but I’m sure women have learned that they get too much attention unless those babies are chained down or conveniently concealed until a moment of their choosing. I’m not sure what women are doing with their breasts but I have noticed they are wielded with much more strategery than I had previously thought.

               Other externals: hair, eyes, hips, shoulders, blah-blah-blah. I think every woman has a pretty good idea of what her best assets are and we men each have our own personal likes and dislikes.

               The final measure to be considered is what is going on around her. Is she engaged in conversation? If so, is it frivolous or serious?

               Is she alone? This is a good one. A woman by herself is always a potential target. When I see a woman by herself all sorts of pheromones and endorphins are activated in my body. There’s usually a little adrenalin associated with the sighting. The feeling is purely sexual but not in a vulgar way, if that makes sense. The sexual emotion is activated because of a lack of competitors. Conversely, a woman surrounded by men is enveloped by a cloud that has a dampening effect on the bodily chemicals that produce physical attraction.

               Perfume. When I started dancing I often found a woman’s artificial fragrance annoying, frequently triggering allergic reactions. I must have undergone a metamorphosis or somehow inured myself against certain allergens because now I enjoy a variety of perfumes, like Christian Dior’s ‘Pure Poison’ or a bodywash by Victoria’s Secret called ‘Pure Seduction’. There is a tanguera at Dance Manhattan I can’t resist whenever she ‘just happens’ to walk past me after having applied a fresh coat of the latter fragrance.

               I attended the Albuquerque Tango Festival this past weekend and I have a few observations I’d like to add for your consumption.

               One tanguera asked me to dance three times and I was happy she did. I had a long drive to Albuquerque and both days were filled with milongas and classroom instruction so I was worn out. That she was not a stranger I think made all the difference in the world. When a woman asks a man to dance she might get one tanda but that can be the last one she gets from this leader...ever. I think the lady has to rely on her instincts when making the offer instead of receiving it. This is tango and sometimes a girl has to take chances.

               At the beginners milonga I was heavily influenced by the music as well as a string of good dances with my companion and other tangueras. This led me to make a hasty decision on my next invitation. After I escorted my last partner back to her seat, I scanned my immediate surroundings. This is where I make most of my propositions, inside a circle thirty feet around me, directly following the end of the tanda.

               I spotted a tanguera twenty feet away, seated at a table. In a split second I took her in and made a decision. She had short hair and I just had a great tanda with a woman with short, red hair. I also liked the cut and texture of her hair. She had nice eyes, long legs and a dress made for dancing tango. The clincher was the shoes. I didn’t get a direct look at them but I could tell they were high heels and the color was pleasing, I think they were white and light green.

               We made eye contact and she walked onto the floor. I presented my frame and she came in for close embrace. What followed was a perfect tango encounter. Her skills complimented my choice of movements. We were meant to meet. She was a sibling from a past life. Our energies combined and became something more than the sum of our parts. We became part of the music, part of the crowd and we made it more beautiful.

               I walked back to my seat, elated. I had chosen well.



Note: Check out my new book on Amazon: Fear of Intimacy and the Tango Cure.

 Note: For an in-depth look into the mind of the Kayak Hombre, read his book, available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369366756&sr=1-1&keywords=River+tango

               

How Tango Saved America

               If former SC governor Mark Sanford hadn’t been bitten by the tango bug, this election could have gone the other way. A rising star in the Republican ranks, this guy had the resume and the ambition to become the most powerful man in the world. Unfortunately for him, he had the sex drive of a politician but not the self-discipline and lost all control when he met a young tanguera at an open-air milonga in Uruguay in 2001. Eight years later he totally unraveled, dashing a promising career that could have put him in the White House.

               I’m sure there are all sorts of conspiracy theories but, just in case, I will start one right now.

               The multilingual woman who tempted the governor was unwittingly working for Roger Ailes and Fox News. The conservative ‘news’ channel and the former Nixon campaign manager had already decided Mitt would be their man to succeed Bush in 2008 and then the 2012 election. They could not control the pol from South Carolina and planted the seeds of his destruction long before he could see the road to the White House opening up for him.

               In 2001, a private detective, on the lam for illegal telephone hacking in the UK, was hired by Ailes to tail the unsuspecting Sanford as he visited New York City and immersed himself in Gotham City’s tango culture where he met an Argentine reporter working on a 9/11 story.

               Later, the US Gov’t, now completely controlled by Rupert Murdoch and his World News Corporation lackies, arranged a trade meeting between Argentina and the Southern Governors Conference. In Montevideo, Uruguay, at a milonga on Lorenzo Merola Boulevard, the two met again, seemingly by accident. Little did the tanguera know that the television station she worked for was a Fox News affiliate and that she was an unsuspecting pawn involved in a game between power brokers engaged in electoral espionage.

               There you have it. If it wasn’t for tango, the two never would have met and our nation’s first black president would have faced a much more competent opponent than the two-faced liar who was defeated last night. Thank you, Tango, you may have broken up a marriage but you inadvertently saved America!

Albuquerque Tango Festival: 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!

                I've been in need of an intense infusion of tango dancing and high-quality instruction for a long time and this weekend I finally got it! It seems like forever since I danced so intensely on top of so much classroom activity; my body was definitely not ready for it or perhaps I’m just getting old.  

               I arrived at the Friday night milonga late, 10 p.m., dancing started at 8. The huge ballroom of the Hotel Albuquerque in Old Town was packed! There were two dance floors, a big one and a smaller one off to the side. There were over 200 dancers on the larger floor and I knew very few of them. It was an awesome sight to behold, so many people all dancing tango!

               I mostly danced with my partner probably because the music selections were excellent and I didn’t want to miss a chance to dance with her to some of my favorite songs that I hadn’t heard in eons. The music during the entire event was superb except for a couple of tandas during the alternative milonga. When I wasn’t dancing I was ogling all the beautiful ladies dressed to kill and moving so very gracefully.

               The skill level of most of the participants was very high as was evident in the near complete observation of the codigos(codes) of tango. The one codigo that was practiced with near uniformity, was the manner in which couples entered the line of dance. Nearly all the leaders took the time to make eye contact with an approaching leader before moving onto the floor. I was very impressed by this and the behavior made me aware that a milonga was much more than an individual experience, it was a group activity and the group’s collective mood was dependent on the actions of all it members.

               I think almost all of New Mexico’s tango population was in attendance and I am pleased to see that I haven’t even scratched the surface of the many tangueras that there are here with which to dance. The festival’s website forecast the attendance of 500 milongueros and I think they reached that number easily.  

               Saturday was 30 hours long and I’m not kidding. With the one hour clock setback and a milonga running until 5 a.m. this was a marathon of tango.

               This day began with Albuquerque’s (IMHO the nation’s) premier tango orchestra, Qtango, performing for a milonga during the brunch hours. We arrived early, not wanting to miss a minute of dancing and we didn’t. I can’t say enough about this band! I implore anyone who enjoys tango music to seek out these extremely talented musicians who are incredibly passionate in their performance of tango music. I danced with such vigor and creativity that I felt spent afterwards.

               I’ll comment separately on the classes I attended taught by master dancers Alex Krebs and Yvonne Meissner. I will say this now, however, the two of them increased my knowledge about tango and improved vastly my ability to enjoy this dance.

               There was an alternative milonga around dinner time that had me on the dance floor almost the whole time even though there were a few tandas I did not particularly enjoy. I did find the change of venue challenging and it sparked my creative juices which would pay off on Sunday.

               Sore and tired, I needed a long nap and came back to the evening milonga refreshed. I’ve never seen so many well-dressed tangueros and tangueras in one place…ever! There were hundreds of them and the music was phenomenal! At 2 a.m. I happened to glance at my watch just in time to see it switch back to 1 a.m. and Daylight Savings Time. My body groaned and I had to pace myself in order to keep up with my partner who was having a great time dancing with a plethora of leaders from all points of the compass.

               We didn’t leave until 3 a.m. but I had mostly hung up my shoes the second time I saw 2 a.m. Slouching on the table to keep my back from hurting, my eyes were riveted to the crowd of dancers who were still going strong at this late hour. What a pleasure it is to see a beautiful woman with a smile on her face as she is moved about the room in the embrace of a leader who is equally pleased. There were a lot of happy faces that night but I am certain there were twice as many unhappy feet the next morning.

               After Yvonne Meissner’s class on embellishments Sunday afternoon there was a milonga for beginner’s. It was here that I probably had my most enjoyable dances of this event. Teaming up with novices and experts alike, both strangers and familiars, I finally broke out of my tired routine and attempted movements buried in my bones and in my memories during the course of 6 years of lessons, practicas and milongas.

               I recalled the ‘Chuck Sacada’ combination from my early days at practica in Stroudsburg, PA. I led barridas in every direction possible and had the best rotation on a shared axis that I ever had in the execution of a colgada!

               I managed to crawl back later that evening for the Sunday night milonga but to tell the truth I was beat and couldn’t wait until it was over. It seems that 6 milongas in 48 hours was all I could handle. I think the next time I attend this event, and I will not miss the next one for the world, I am going to have to train and build up my endurance.

               That’s all for now. Check back later for my report on the excellent instruction under the tutelage of Alex Krebs and his wonderful assistant, Rachel Greenberg, as well as the teachings of Yvonne Meissner.

(For a more in-depth looking into the mind of the Kayak Hombre and his thoughts on tango, buy his book: River Tango, now available on Amazon.com at http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527 )

 

              

               

River Tango Fan at ABQ Festival

               While dancing at last weekend’s tango extravaganza (more about that in upcoming posts) I was pleasantly surprised to find a woman who read my book, River Tango (http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1290024257&sr=8-1), and liked it! Of course I had to dance with her and I have to say it was one of the most delightful experiences of my life!

               It happened Saturday night at the milonga in the grand ballroom of the Albuquerque Hotel in Old Town. As I approached a table full of interesting tangueras, one of them called me by my full name, a rarity since most people can’t even pronounce my last name, Iezzoni, pronounced ‘eye-a-zone-ee’.

               “Perri Iezzoni, “she said as I came near.

               “Yes?” I said, somewhat shocked at being addressed so formally. At tango events, an invitation to a dance is often offered and accepted with a mere exchange of glances. This was a big gathering of tango dancers from all across the United States so I was doubly surprised that anyone knew me, much less knew my first and last name.

               As we danced she talked about the characters in my book and remarked on how obvious it was that I loved the outdoors as well as dancing tango. She expressed a deep admiration for my ex-wife whom she said was an extremely strong and admirable woman. Big Jane is a character in my book who is one of the protagonists. She is to a large extent much like my ex but she is actually a collage of many women I have known, all of whom are remarkable women.

               We danced again the next night and my new-found friend gave me another gift beyond the recognition she had already given me as a writer: a tip on how to sell my house.

               “Plant a statue of St. Joseph upside down in the front yard.” She advised me. This is not the first time I’ve heard this old wive’s tale on how to sell houses and I’m going to follow it as soon as I put my home on the market.

               Thinking back upon the encounter, I have to say it made me feel somewhat older. My book was the furthest thing from my mind at the time, probably because I’ve moved on to writing another book. It will have some tango but no river running. The river is becoming less a part of my life out here and I look forward to more backpacking trips, not river runs. It seems now that my days of whitewater canoeing are more of a memory than an adventure to be planned.

               I guess I’ve moved on in my life and that is not a bad thing. I believe it is important for human beings, as we grow older, to keep an open mind as to the paths we choose to old age. I’ve worn a pretty good trail going down many rivers; I think now I will start wearing down some serious rubber on my hiking boots as well as the felt on my dancing shoes.

Peace, Love, Tango

Kayak Hombre

Durango Tango: Heart, Soul, Brains

               I’d like to give a shout out to the heart, soul and brains of our tango society in Durango: Harold Welty, Keneen McNiven, Les Linton and Rhonda Stroup. I arrived in March to find a fledgling tango group that looked much like the deer in town after a hard winter. That is not the case today and our family is thriving with a webpage www.tangodurango.com, a Facebook page www.facebook.com/groups/353689751341313/, regular practicas and well-attended workshops. None of this would be possible without the dedication and hard work from this core group of tango fanatics. We are heading into the winter fatter than a herd of elk feeding on a field of corn all summer long.

               The reason for my enthusiasm is two weekends of excellent tango instruction right in my own backyard. Normally I would have to travel to Albuquerque or Santa Fe, 400 miles roundtrip, to find similar offerings. Tom Stermitz and Amy Beaudet taught on 10/13 and 10/14. Les Linton and Rhonda Stroup taught 10/21.

               Les and Rhonda are the brains of our body of tango. Together they bring us a wealth of information on three styles of this Argentine dance: vals, milonga and tango. Through their efforts we are educated on the movement, history and musicality of this cultural export from south of the equator. Conducting workshops every third Sunday of the month since March, this dynamic duo has been present as we grew from a mere puddle of quivering water to a virtual lake of tango enthusiasts.

               Keneen McNiven, D.C./yoga instructor, is the soul of our group, reaching out beyond our borders to bring in excellent instructors like Tom and Amy from www.tango.org. Whether she is guiding us on the dance floor towards a greater connection with our partners or on the yoga mat to help us see our inner light more clearly, Keneen is diligently working towards the happiness and inner peace of all members of our society. You can find out more about her on her webpage: www.sanjuanomyoga.com/.

               Finally there is Harold Welty, the heart of tango in Durango. Once a wandering tanguero to all points of the tango compass, even BsAs, Harold is our committed webmaster and frequent poster on our Facebook page. Harold is at every practica and every workshop, there to assist, instruct, or, as is often the case, to help clean up after a busy day of instruction or dancing. Whenever I dance in Albuquerque or Santa Fe and I say I’m from Durango, Harold is always mentioned and remembered with great affection. Their loss is our gain, thank you, Harold!

               Winter is almost upon us. Les and Rhonda have one more workshop on tango vals before snow threatens our Rocky Mountain roadways. It will not be a season without tango, however, there will still be practicas at the Smiley Building on Sunday and, beginning in November, regular practicas in Aztec, NM, during the week.

Peace, Love, Tango

Kayak Hombre

               

Tango Is The Path

               It is difficult to figure out what the right path is in life. Before I started dancing I used to lament over my mistakes with such frequency that they ate away at my insides. I found it very difficult to live with my blunders or even to learn from them. Tango teaches a dancer not to dwell on the mistakes. When he trips the music doesn’t stop playing. He needs to keep listening, to continue to choreograph, navigate and communicate to his partner. If he stops, so does the dance.

               In 9^th grade I was a prolific reader. One book more than any other influenced my path in life: ‘Cup of Gold’ by John Steinbeck. After reading this book I planned to run away from home. I didn’t get up the courage until my second semester of college. I kind of felt I lived in a world that was not much different from the one inhabited by the main character, Henry Morgan. One day he would leave home for a seaport where he would be forced into slavery and eventually become the greatest pirate ever.

               Oh how I longed to be  ‘the greatest pirate ever’ in my own time, in real life. When I finally made that giant leap into the vast ocean of life, I discovered how woefully unprepared I was. I usually had to be satisfied with just keeping my nose above the water. There were many painfully humbling experiences.

               Whichever fork in the road we decide to take, we will inevitably stumble; the trick is not to fall when we do. In hindsight I’d say learn to dance before you lose your footing, don’t wait until you’re fifty-two, like me.

               Tango also teaches us not to allow negative energy from a misstep to enter into our embrace. Applying that same concept to our lives means directing your frustration out into space and not at other people. If you allow irritation into the connection with your partner, she may inadvertently kick another couple who may fall and topple the remaining dancers like dominos. So too in life, if you take out your annoyances on others they may do the same in a way that repeats and compounds itself, rippling exponentially throughout the general population.

               I lurched through life and hit bottom many times. Until I took up tango, I carried the weight of all my failings. As I acquired new skills and began to move with my partners as one, in harmony, not just with the person within my embrace, but also in accord with the universe, gradually I began to let go of that heavy load.

                Dancing is such a great metaphor for life. We do what we can with the time we’re given, with the song God plays for us. We can march with the crowd or we can chart our own course, either way, in the end, nothing will be left but the memory of us in the minds of those we leave behind. To be memorable it is imperative to dance well.

 Note: For an in-depth look into the mind of the Kayak Hombre, read his book, available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369366756&sr=1-1&keywords=River+tango

              

                

Qtango Sets The Music Free

               Words are not a sufficient medium with which to express my appreciation for the tango band known as Qtango. How can I possibly convey to you, the reader, what I feel without using my hands, without yelling at the top of my lungs or jumping up and down or spinning in circles?

               I will try.

               On Sunday, I came to Albuquerque with a specific purpose in mind: to expose my girlfriend to something very wonderful. For months we have been attending tango workshops and practicas but I knew full well such endeavors, while worthy, do not capture the emotion or the transformational experience of tango.

               Two people simply moving to the rhythm of tango music are dancing tango but tango is something much more than that. I racked my brain to find a way to convey my perceptions of this dance to my partner until I arrived at the answer: Qtango.

                At the milonga a DJ warmed up the crowd before the band performed. I took the opportunity to try a new step with my partner. My attempts were nearly successful and I felt confident I could succeed if properly inspired.

               Suitable motivation arrived as if on cue, or should I say ‘Q’, as in Qtango? With Erskine Maytorena on bandoneon, Jeremy Sment on double bass and Olga Home on violin, the band took the stage and began to play.

               The sharp notes of Olga's violin moved me to reach for the stars.  As we joined in the tango embrace I looked into my partner’s eyes and was drawn into her. I could feel her confidence in me as she met my gaze. I was now more than a man, I was ‘us’. We were joined together as one entity and something more. We were part of the music, an extension of it. I willed the follower to move her left foot backward and it moved. Time slowed down to the speed of surreal. I waited for the next note to strike before moving my right foot forward and we repeated this pattern until the illusion was complete.

               It was a new movement for me, for us. We were cohorts in the creation of something original.

               My elation shot towards the ceiling accompanied by my copilot as we flew along the notes and moved around the dance floor in total harmony. I was happy. She took my joy and returned it with interest. We were one with each other and with the melody. The musicians played and we reacted. We moved without choreography, not knowing the next step until the chord had been released from the violin, bandoneon or bass. We were lost in the song until it ended and found ourselves unable to believe the euphoria, our minds reeling as the bond between us dissipated.

               For such a union to occur between my girlfriend and I could be a testament to our relationship and our particular chemistry. Dancing that night with other tangueras I made equally incredible connections and succeeded bravely in many movements I had previously executed with apprehension. 

               The only explanation for this is Qtango.

               To merely say they are good musicians is an insult in my humble opinion. They are the best tango band ever….period! Never has a violin touched me as Olga’s did. To hear Erskine sing familiar tango ballads made me realize how offensive were similar attempts by other balladeers.

               Thank you, Qtango, for helping me to find the tango experience I had been missing since I arrived in New Mexico, ten months ago. The true meaning of tango had escaped me. Now I remember what that is: to make an intimate connection with your partner, to become one with a song, to be an extension of the music and the footsteps of the melody so that it can move across the dance floor.

               Qtango does much more than play tango music with sublime perfection, it sets the music free!

For more info on this band go to their website: www.qtango.com


Note: Check out my new book on Amazon: Fear of Intimacy and the Tango Cure.

Note: For an in-depth look into the mind of the Kayak Hombre, read his book, available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369366756&sr=1-1&keywords=River+tango

 

               

Tango at the Temple of the Living Goddess at the Heart-Path Retreat Center in Pojoaque

                 If I found the entrance to Shangri-la would I tell anyone? The answer is ‘yes’ because how would anyone know I had been there? A boy has to brag about his adventures even if he’s just climbing imaginary mountains or dancing tango at a splendid arroyo estate in New Mexico. I worry not that its location will be overrun by the mass hordes because I am confident they are too busy looking for heaven somewhere within their television sets and computer chat rooms, and not in a place where tango is practiced with a high degree of passion and proficiency.

               This night Kayak Hombre and his German companion arrive in the tiny New Mexico town of Pojoaque (pronounced: poh-yoki) at 9:30 p.m. in search of tango. Driving down dirt roads at night in the high desert gets kind of spooky and I have to reassure my friend I have been to many a tango location in equally ominous settings. At one point I regale her with a tale of my quest to find tango in the old-town section of Quebec City.  There I entered a graffiti-strewn courtyard and climbed a broken metal stairway to discover an old doorway leading to the best tango in the province of Quebec and probably the entire country of Canada.

               There is a full moon adding to the mystique of our desert surroundings. The light at the peak of the lunar cycle revealed, amongst the pencil cacti and tumbleweeds, towering walls of adobe and fortified wooden gates juxtaposed by modern security keypads demanding pass codes. After turning through a maze of lefts and rights on the bumpy earthen boulevard, we abandon our search and head back to town, certain we had misread the directions. Before we make it back to the paved highway and civilization, my copilot retrieves the website information on her iPhone and reaffirms what we hoped was not true: we were at the right place.

               It seems we missed a vital piece of data: “…pull up to the gate and it will open automatically.” We drive back down the labyrinth of dirt roads in the midst of what we are certain is a Mexican drug lord’s graveyard and our final resting place. Arriving at the gate it opens like the entrance to a secret cave hiding Aladdin’s priceless treasures…and what we found was not far from it.

               Driving down the long, cobbled driveway to the Temple of the Living Goddess at the Heart-Path Retreat Center, we find a campus of cars parked on every available inch of open space: the place was packed! Getting out of the car we navigate a wonderfully landscaped moonlit-walkway to the main building and enter an anteroom where we discard our street shoes for dance shoes. From the next room we hear someone speaking German which immediately piqued the interest of my Teutonic tanguera.

               As a veteran of many an East Coast milonga I’m accustomed to seeing tangueras sitting on the sidelines for hours at a time waiting for an invitation to dance. I fear that may be the case tonight for my girlfriend. Women don't suffer through the pain and agony required to acquire the proficiency needed to dance tango at a milonga only to spend the night dancing to every song with the same man. If that was the case we could have stayed home and saved a few nights' hotel fees and eight hours total driving. 

               Frequently I’ve received appeals from desperate tangueros to dance with their girlfriends or spouses. Tonight I was a stranger in a strange land and I worried that this night would find me tempted to make a similar pitch to the local tangueros.  I could have spared myself the anxiety for my lady friend was welcomed with open arms and many well-led tandas.  

               The main room of the sanctuary is a site to behold. I am certain it is one of the seven wonders of the tango world, comparable to the giant doors at Milonga de las Puertas, in Albuquerque, and the mural on the back wall at Triangulo in the Big Apple.

               The ceiling of this room is an enormous domed-ring of stained glass held aloft by a circle of Ponderosa Pine timbers, each easily fifty feet in length and extending through the walls to the building’s exterior. The beams are so large they seemed to have been erected by giants and give the space a gargantuan appeal. The walls are decorated with an abundance of paintings depicting Christ the Savior in various settings that remind me of a Spanish Conquistador’s castle (not that I’ve ever seen one).

               There is other art work on the walls as well and I wish I had time to peruse the room, gawk and contemplate each piece, for every one of them, at first glance, appears to be a work worthy of display in a museum. Our time here passes far too quickly for me to fully admire the splendor of our surroundings. 

               I danced the first tanda with my date. I asked another tanguera to join me for the next set of songs and hoped my favorite partner would not be sitting this tanda out. She was on the floor in a flash and I had to compete with the other leaders to get her attention the rest of the night!

               The men of this milonga obviously took their responsibilities as tangueros very seriously and did their best to ensure no woman was sitting long enough to catch her breath.     

               The most spectacular phenomenon about this event was the music: INCREDIBLE!!!! Cudos to DJ Regina and her fine playlist. I am a big fan of the classics, which she played often, but I am tired of the required late-night Nuevo Tango set always being something by Gotan or Libedinsky. The lovely Regina, a music connoisseur as well as a skilled dancer, impressed me greatly with her choice of ‘Assassin’s Tango’, a melody from the soundtrack to the movie ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’ as one of her many great Nuevo Tango selections.

               Sometimes it is enjoyable just to watch tango dancers and such was the case when ‘Assassin’s Tango’ played. It is such a delightfully challenging tune that I was curious to see how tonight’s crowd chose their movements and embellishments: I was extremely impressed! Adding to my pleasure was a plate full of the best tango food ever served at a milonga: a salad comprised of a well-mixed plethora of vegetables, some seedless watermelon chunks and a delicious pasta salad. There were many more delectable items on the food table but a man can only fit so much on his plate.

               A great time was had by all. Rarely is there such an abundance of skilled tangueros dedicated to the pleasure of all the tangueras in attendance. I believe the hostess, Sylvana Pagani, is to be congratulated and commended for her efforts in organizing this event which was definitely a herculean task. There is much hard work that goes into preparing for such a well-attended festivity, particularly in garnering the support of so many accomplished milongueros. I'm sure this is easily overlooked especially when everything is executed with seamless perfection.

               Our walk back to the car was along another route that took us through a desert landscape fully illuminated by the moon now high in the sky: absolutely spectacular! I extend my compliments to the gardening team on a job done, not just well, but to superb perfection.

               On the long drive back to our hotel in Santa Fe, my date grabbed my hand frequently as she recounted with excitement each incredible encounter with a new dance partner. I must admit that a few times I felt a tinge of jealousy as she described some of the better dancers and how they choreographed their movements or how they conveyed their lead with ease. That is to be expected but most important to me, at fifty-two years of age, is that I was able to bring her to a gathering that brought her so much pleasure and gave us both so many delightful memories.

               I give my thanks to the keepers of the Temple of the Living Goddess at the Heart-Path Retreat Center and to all who made such a wonderful milonga there possible. You have achieved greatness and have made the world a better place if only for one night!


Note: Check out my new book on Amazon: Fear of Intimacy and the Tango Cure.

(For a more in-depth looking into the mind of the Kayak Hombre and his thoughts on tango, buy his book: River Tango, now available on Amazon.com at http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527 )