How Tango Saved America

               If former SC governor Mark Sanford hadn’t been bitten by the tango bug, this election could have gone the other way. A rising star in the Republican ranks, this guy had the resume and the ambition to become the most powerful man in the world. Unfortunately for him, he had the sex drive of a politician but not the self-discipline and lost all control when he met a young tanguera at an open-air milonga in Uruguay in 2001. Eight years later he totally unraveled, dashing a promising career that could have put him in the White House.

               I’m sure there are all sorts of conspiracy theories but, just in case, I will start one right now.

               The multilingual woman who tempted the governor was unwittingly working for Roger Ailes and Fox News. The conservative ‘news’ channel and the former Nixon campaign manager had already decided Mitt would be their man to succeed Bush in 2008 and then the 2012 election. They could not control the pol from South Carolina and planted the seeds of his destruction long before he could see the road to the White House opening up for him.

               In 2001, a private detective, on the lam for illegal telephone hacking in the UK, was hired by Ailes to tail the unsuspecting Sanford as he visited New York City and immersed himself in Gotham City’s tango culture where he met an Argentine reporter working on a 9/11 story.

               Later, the US Gov’t, now completely controlled by Rupert Murdoch and his World News Corporation lackies, arranged a trade meeting between Argentina and the Southern Governors Conference. In Montevideo, Uruguay, at a milonga on Lorenzo Merola Boulevard, the two met again, seemingly by accident. Little did the tanguera know that the television station she worked for was a Fox News affiliate and that she was an unsuspecting pawn involved in a game between power brokers engaged in electoral espionage.

               There you have it. If it wasn’t for tango, the two never would have met and our nation’s first black president would have faced a much more competent opponent than the two-faced liar who was defeated last night. Thank you, Tango, you may have broken up a marriage but you inadvertently saved America!