Friday, July 12, 2013

Step by Step, Slowly She Turns

               She sat across the table from me at a recent milonga, her body played out across two chairs. I knew what she wanted even though she seemed to be talking to another woman at my table. After several minutes, she turned to me and asked if I remembered her from a milonguero-style workshop we’d both attended a year ago.
               I could recall the event but not her face, yet I told her that I did. When I heard the words ‘milonguero-style’, they left a bad taste in my mouth. I’d been struggling with this way of dancing for a long time. It wasn’t until I’d completed the workshop that I could finally make a thorough analysis of how I felt about it.
               For the uninformed, allow me to offer a description of this style of tango dancing. It is very close, most of the diaphragm is in complete and constant contact between the two dancers. Of the women I’ve danced with who prefer this technique, I've noticed that their pivot is almost silent. As the leader, it is incumbent upon me to indicate direction with my chest in a highly animated manner. The focus of milonguero-style is almost entirely on the embrace.
               Although I've encountered tangueras who danced this way before, it wasn’t until I arrived in Albuquerque that I began to suspect that these women were looking for something that I couldn’t offer. In such circumstances, when I entered the embrace I gave the follower two seconds to make the connection. If she didn’t bond with me satisfactorily in that time frame, I forced her into open embrace, much to her consternation.
               After the aforementioned workshop, I began to realize that these ladies were expecting to take five to ten seconds to complete the union. To them, this was the most important part of the dance and I think it is the part that gives them the most satisfaction.
               A year later I am a little wiser. Now I know to give these particular partners a little more time to settle onto my frame. I can even spot women who practice this manner of tango before I offer them a cabeceo. Another thing I’ve noticed is that I don’t want to engage a milonguero-style dancer unless the right music is playing.
               Maybe it’s me, it usually is, but I find this mode of dancing so restrictive that I often get bored with myself halfway through the first song. The most pleasant thing about milonguero-style is that the woman’s breasts are constantly being mashed, swept or brushed against my chest: very nice:-) Aside from that, all we are doing is caminada, or walking, and ocho cortado.
               Every time I lead molinete, the follower almost always performs two cruzadas. This is highly disconcerting. Also, the lack of pivoting action is so disappointing, I sometimes fail to hide my dissatisfaction. When this happens, I sense a strong feeling of confusion in my partner.
               After a lot of thought and a year of study, I can safely say I am ambivalent about milonguero-style. I think it is my responsibility as a leader to accommodate a woman if she prefers to dance this way.  To be fair to myself, I must pay more attention to how a woman dances before I offer an invitation. If the music isn’t right or her breasts are uninteresting, I shouldn’t proffer an invite.
               I know, guys, there are no such things as ‘uninteresting breasts’.
               If I had my ‘drathers’, I’d rather dance with a partner who can pivot on her own axis and is comfortable moving into and out of the embrace all throughout our engagement.
               As I stated earlier, the aforementioned woman was sprawled across two chairs, chatting up my friend. She casually conversed with me after a few minutes. I took this as a crafty way to get me to offer an invite but I lost interest as soon as she said "milonguero-style". It was the music. Also, I’d been focusing on tangueras who enjoyed this manner of dancing all weekend and was finally coming to the conclusion that everything needed to be just right before I could enjoy myself in such an encounter.
               It was Sunday night and I’d been to four milongas in less than forty-eight hours. My left knee was aching and both my feet were on fire. I was content to sit through many tandas and watch people move around the dance floor.
               Several times I noticed her sitting down at the end of a tanda. Each time I avoided eye contact when she happened to see me looking in her direction.
               After an extremely exuberant tanda of classic milonga melodies danced with an extraordinarily skilled and delightful tanguera, I finally did make eye contact with the other woman. It was almost the end of the evening. For some reason I knew the time was right. I could see her disappointment when our eyes met and then her confusion as I did not turn away, nodding towards the open dance floor.
               She got up, smiled suspiciously and joined me. I gave her enough time to appropriately settle into my frame like a bird landing on its nest in the branches of a tree. Her breasts felt nice against my chest. Her body was soft but not too soft and she smelled nice, even after three hours of dancing.
               When the music began, we walked to the melody the entire length of the room. I led ocho cortado, then molinete; she executed two cruzadas instead. It was easy to hide my disappointment because I had been expecting them.
               I led a long side step and took her into en carpa position, the tent. Our bodies still joined closely at the chest, I was free to pivot her easily. We played with simple steps together. I was having a good time. It was then that I realized the music was just right. I lost my inhibitions about milonguero-style and began to relax.
               On the final song I received a tremendous return for my efforts: she pivoted of her own accord! I led an ocho and she turned, slowly, and with deliberation. It was incredibly clear and resonant. She carved an arc on the wooden floor like the gentle sweep of an asteroid around the sun of my soul. She gave it to me like a gift.
               I don’t know why she pivoted so well and to my complete satisfaction. Maybe I finally led it right, maybe it took us three songs to finally sync up with each other. Was she ‘learning’ me? Whatever the reason, it felt very nice and I found myself infatuated with her. Such is the power of tango.
               It was the end of an awesome weekend of tango dancing. Once again I found myself carrying wisps of another person’s ethereal soul with me as I headed home that night. I had learned something new. I was humble and patient. The universe rewarded me by allowing me to peer into a woman’s soul and it was beautiful.



Note: for more writings by the Kayak Hombre, check out my book, River Tango, available on Amazon: 




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