Girls Behaving Badly

               Recently, a very experienced tanguera complained to me about the slutty tactics employed by other women to get dances. The things she said, such as tangueras removing their panties, seemed very vulgar. She was extremely upset and she used the F-word for emphasis.

               It is not unusual for a bra to disappear after a lady slips out of sight and reappears seconds later, but I never figured they’d go so far as to lose their panties. I’ve never been consciously aware of the absence of panty lines but they must register with a man subconsciously or else why would women be doing it?

               I am in awe of the opposite sex’s talent for influencing my behavior. I am equally amazed at my inability to realize that I have been manipulated until much later. I have to believe women do this instinctively and that it is not a learned process.

               Until I became a proficient leader, I always thought those nice ladies chatting with me on the sidelines were truly interested in having a conversation. Now I know they were only looking for dance invitations.

               Men don’t understand women at all, yet, I think there are times when a woman also doesn’t understand the reasons behind her own actions.

               There was an article in the New York Times on the competitive nature of women. What it said reminded so much of tangueras vying for the attention of the leaders at a milonga and the inevitable sniping that occurs as a result.

               The article referenced research done by Susan B. Hrdy, yes Hrdy, on Langur monkeys in India. It seems these monkeys kill their babies periodically and the prevailing theory was that these primates did this to reduce overcrowding.

               Dr. Hrdy proved that the infanticide happened after an invasion of males from an outside tribe. As the alpha males integrated with the group, they would kill nursing babies in order to force the females to ovulate sooner. This increased their chances of copulating with the conquered females and introducing their DNA into the subjugated tribe before possibly being overthrown by other raiders.

               After further study, she noticed that the female Langurs employed a counter-strategy against the baby-murdering invaders by having sex with as many males as possible, the victors and the defeated. This makes paternity more difficult to prove and the confusion probably saves the lives of many baby monkeys.

                The female Langurs came up with a sexual answer to what they perceived as a threat to their offspring but their promiscuity created another problem: competition for the males.

               The article goes on to quote the findings of a clinical trial conducted at McMaster University by Tracy Vaillancourt and Aanchal Sharma, to document just exactly how women compete with each other.

               They secretly recorded young women sniping at other young women who were dressed seductively.  

               They called this process slut-shaming and it seemed to me to be exactly what the woman I mentioned earlier was doing when she was complaining to me. This may not seem like news but it does go a long way towards explaining the social and biological forces affecting women's behavior at a milonga.

               My conclusion is that, at times, a woman may subconsciously be motivated to make herself available to as many men as possible. This conduct could be some sort of biological and sociological response to unknown forces at work in her social network. The milonga provides the perfect opportunity to quench the fire burning within her.

               At a tango gathering, she can satisfy her desire to dance with an abundance of leaders. If she is not lucky, then she must be cunning. 

               I have to guess that she experiences a tremendous amount of guilt the first time she emerges from the ladies’ room sans undergarments; I think she knows what she’s doing is indignant but she must answer the call of the wild.

               Not every woman hears that phone ringing at the milonga but they know what is happening and they feel threatened. Sniping occurs.

               Dancing tango is not a sport for children or monkeys, nor is it for the timid or those who are easily upset by the opinions of others. We expose ourselves when we join the crowd and seek a partner.

               In tango, it is important for all dancers to keep a tight leash on their primal inclinations. I don’t think the removal of underwear is necessarily a bad thing. This act is kind of like fireworks: if they’re used to amuse, there is no problem; if they’re used to blow up a house, then we got trouble.

               Growing up during the sexual revolution, I was inundated with constant reports of the ways that women have been repressed throughout history. When I read The Histories by Herodotus, the first written account of the various cultures of his time, around 450 B.C., I could discern no repression, only that the sexes had different roles in society: men fought wars and women bore children.

               And so it is in Argentine Tango, men and women have different roles. When girls behave badly to get asked to dance, they are merely reacting to the external forces generated by the people in their lives. This does not go unnoticed by the other ladies at the milonga, who, in turn, get catty. 

               Slut-shaming is a female phenomenon and a natural reaction to a perceived threat.  As long as it is only a verbal release, I think it is probably a healthy emotional behavior. We are, after all, only humans. We’re not perfect and we don’t have to pretend that we are.