Monday, January 9, 2017

Man vs. Tango

At fifty-six years old I am surprised at how complex I am as a man past his prime. Lately tango has been messing with my sex drive. Don’t go there, Tango, it’s a part of me that will take down this house of cards that I rest upon. Who am I to make demands on Tango? It is a force of nature, like gravity, and it cannot be denied once you are in its grasp.
This dance has fundamentally altered my libido. I think it would be normal for any man my age to tilt strongly, both metaphorically and literally, towards younger and more perfectly formed females. Now, however, I am finding the admiration of physical beauty is in close competition with the desire for the warm embrace of a skilled tanguera. Yes, there may be hotties about but I no longer salivate and go out of my way to gain their attention; I’ve danced with those women before and rarely is there much there beyond the superficial.
Now I watch followers with greater discern before I attempt a cabeceo.
At night, when I am restless, the usual sexual fantasies are not as calming as the thought of a tanda with a full-figured woman filled with years of experiences. I go back and forth between the two, amazed that the latter is where I find relaxation and amazed at how fulfilling the relief is; I usually return to sleep before the music even begins to play, the anticipation of tango is enough to send me back to slumberland.
In a way I resent the change in my desire. I fear it may be a sign I am getting old but I suspect this happens to dancers at any age; it is a maturation of the learning process that makes appreciation of the art a stronger force than the satiation of my primal urges.

In all closely fought wars, the truce is often a far different outcome than the participants could have imagined at the outset. What started off as a quest to find female canoeing companions has led, instead, to a continual search for the perfect tanda. In hindsight I can see that there was no way I could win this conflict but I think I came out ahead. To have remain unchanged would have been a far greater loss.



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