A Short Guide to Leading and Following

               A big part of tango is understanding your partner. That task is almost impossible for a man because women are complex and his frame of reference is himself. This is pretty easy for a woman because men are not complex; if a man is a skilled leader, she simply moves in the direction he intends; if the man is a novice, she has to ‘improvise’. If you are a leader, your job is not to understand the woman but to discern if she is moving to your intentions or ‘improvising’.

               If you are a capable leader then there is nothing I can say here to help you get better. As I’ve said many times, I am not an instructor. You have spent the time necessary and made the efforts needed to convey direction changes to a female engaged in your embrace while tango music is playing. What you need are several counselors: financial, mental and physical. You’re on the verge of economic collapse, you are constantly embarking on guilt trips launched by demanding tangueras and your left knee throbs at night because you’re leading too many sacadas using bad technique.

               For novice tangueros, my advice is this: watch the woman’s lips. If you see teeth, this is not good, even if everything you’ve learned up to this point indicated this was a smile and a sign of satisfaction. This is called a ‘face’ and it means she is improvising. If you’ve invoked the ‘face’, you’re on your own. Sorry. You obviously don’t know what you’re doing. The best you can do is keep your mouth shut and pray for the end, any end, maybe even death, your death; don’t kill her or you will have one less person to prove something to when you finally do learn something.

               If, at any point you see her lips curl into something resembling  a smile, without teeth, don’t panic. Try to remember what you did prior to the change in state of her spout. This will take you about forty-five seconds. The song is now at least halfway over. Do it again, whatever it is. If you are lucky, you whipped out your ‘move’ early in the song and have one more chance to do it again. Wait for it….NOW! Okay! Now you feel like a hero. Quit while you’re ahead. Go home now. Recount what you did. Think about what you might do to add to it. Whatever you do, don’t modify it. You got this one thing, hopefully, someday, you will have another;-)

              

              

Women have a different operating system than men. I’ve heard many times that leaders should learn to follow and followers should learn to lead. This concept has nothing to do with understanding your partner.