Pieces of Meat

               A tanguera asked me recently, “What is it about a woman that makes men want to dance with her?”

               Without thinking, I answered, “That's because she is a great follower.”

               Seven years into my tango education, I can safely say that many ladies do not realize the enormity of this statement. If a man leads a movement and the follower merely makes a course correction, hanging onto him like a piece of meat, men don't find that enticing.

               Let me try to explain what I mean when I say, “…a great follower.”

               One aspect of tango that makes the experience incredibly enjoyable is that it takes two. The leader suggests a movement and the follower interprets what she believes is his intention. The woman's part is not just a change of direction, a pause or a simple shift of weight.

               Masami Hirokawa, a tango instructor from Santa Fe, once said at a workshop that a woman has to actively receive the lead. I don’t know how a follower does that but I do know what it feels like and it is positively delightful, especially during a pause.

               Learning to lead is hard. A leader has to hear the music, choreograph steps with attention to navigation and then indicate his plan to his partner. This is such a complex endeavor that many men give up.

               A desirable follower is practiced in the art of executing movement. She is a skilled listener, not just someone who passively complies. This is what makes tango illusionary. An observer cannot see the leader’s cues; they can only be heard by his partner. She pivots on her own axis, embellishes to the music and maintains her own balance. She is the other half of the dance, never less than that and yet, to the viewers, the dance is all about her.

               If the follower finds her role is not as complicated as the leader’s, then she is just a piece of meat waiting to be consumed. If that is the case, then she shouldn’t be surprised if her wait for a dance is a long one. Even the choicest of cuts are not listed as 'raw' on the menu. How well a tanguera prepares herself for an encounter on the dance floor is what makes men desire her for a return engagement.