Married Women and Tango

              This is a tough subject to cover but I feel I must offer some words on the subject for the sake of the ladies. Let me first say I am single. I enjoy the sexual tension of this dance and that can happen with married or single women. Most times it is not something that can be helped but with married tangueras, especially novices, it must be handled deftly and with the utmost respect towards the institution of marriage.

               I loved being married. It was the best twelve years of my life and made me a much more productive person. I am in awe of couples who’ve managed to stay together for twenty years and more and I’m sure their foray into tango is one of the reasons they’re still together. If one of the partners takes up the dance on their own, that is not a good sign, but who am I to judge. It has been my experience that sometimes a woman seeks out tango because she needs something that she is not getting in her marriage. The same goes for a man, I’m sure.

               It is my guess, based on scores of dances with tangueras who are married, that these women are just looking to move to the music in a man’s embrace. As I’ve said before, middle-aged women have this great energy pent up inside them. The longer it has been since that energy has been tapped, the more potent its effect on her embrace. It doesn’t even have to be a close embrace for the release of this energy to begin its song of seduction.

               Often times I’ve heard this song and usually it ends with the woman saying something like this, “blah, blah, blah, my husband, blah, blah, blah.” The only words I hear are “my husband.” There is nothing wrong with this, she is scared, tempted, she is hearing the song and its effect on her is probably much stronger than it is on me.

               Every now and then, I’ll hear the song but not the ending and I’ll have to end it myself. This is tough but that is what a respectable tanguero must do. The married woman does not need to be enticed because she is walking on a wire when she’s dancing tango with a strange man.

               This does not go for all married women. I enjoy dancing with many women who are married. They are in for the full close embrace and sucking every last bit of sensuality out of our encounter. It is my suspicion they are feeding their appetite and disciplined enough to save the feast for their spouse when they are in the bedroom. I remember an old saying, “it doesn’t matter where you get your appetite just as long as you eat at home.”

               This married woman is my favorite dance partner. She never mentions her husband as a means to quash my amorous feelings but she usually is a talker. She’s been to Buenos Aires several times and is very well versed in the business of tango. She’s a joy to listen to and totally at ease on the dance floor.
               There are a lot of married woman who are no fun to dance with. They've also been to Buenos Aires and are very knowledgeable about all things tango. They've heard the siren's song and have decided they don't want to be exposed to it. Instead of stuffing their ears with cotton, they 'pretend' the close embrace and approximate sensuality thinking they are fooling their partners. They don't know their partners are on to them because they don't want to know. In tango, connection is everything and these ladies have none. I guess they're here for the shoes.

               Lately, I’ve been sticking to single women. If I hear talk of a spouse, that is the end of our dances…unless she’s really good. I think that is best until I am in a relationship. This weekend I had one of the aforementioned encounters and the sound of the siren singing was more tempting than usual. Maybe it was the woman, but I think it is me. I’m vulnerable working out here in the Great American Southwest for the next sixteen months. I’m not relationship material(my ex will tell you that, LOL!) but you can’t trust Tango to steer you away from undesirable trysts. In fact, I think Tango likes it that way. It is like a malicious Cupid.