Love, Sex and Tango

               I was dancing with a woman yesterday and I said something that was self-deprecating. She encouraged me to be positive. I ignored her request because she doesn’t realize the situation I am in. I am a contractor in the telecom industry, one step above slave. Being humble is an absolute necessity of my job which can be terminated at any time. In a way it is demeaning but it is only temporary and the importance of this assignment is worth all the effort.

               The people I work with are great. I practice humility because I’ve learned from past experiences the precarious nature of my situation. I once had a contract terminated because I made a statement that baseball players should get paid as much money as they could get. The supervisor disagreed. In three months it was the first time I had dared to express an opinion, by noon I was on my way home to my wife and kids to look for another work assignment.

               This current contract will last another 14 months at which time a host of opportunities will be available to me. I will be free to sign another deal anywhere else in the USA, preferably in a large city with lots of tango and access to some high quality outdoor recreation.

               Saturday I went hiking in Arches National Park. It was an awesome adventure! That was one of the reasons I chose this assignment: proximity to great hiking destinations. At one point in the trail I had to traverse a narrow stone bridge with a huge drop off on my right of several hundred feet. It was scary but after awhile I acclimated and became confident in my ability to keep my balance.

               The next day I went to Durango for practica. This is my opportunity to share with these people everything I have learned about this dance. I bring my cloak of humility from work to the studio. I think this enhances the quality of my efforts and in return enhances the quality of my life: being humble at work and at play keeps me balanced.

               Durango is a nice town. The citizens are down to earth and committed to exercise of all sorts, particularly biking and hiking. The borough itself has invested heavily in bike paths, walkways and river access. I love rivers and hiking. It is tempting to want to live here but that is a lure I must not bite. There are no full-time telecom jobs here. I’ve lived in the mountains long enough to know that staying here means working three jobs and the end of my telecom career.

               It is possible to see a bright future for tango in this town. Throw some sex in there and it could all fall apart. Tango is fraught with situations that can trigger a person’s sex drive. Sex is not bad but it does have a tendency to complicate things. Sex can be a gateway drug to love and nothing complicates a situation more than love.  

               I have come to believe that middle-aged women need a dance partner they can connect to without fear of sexual advances. Men, too, have that same need but with a slightly different angle: they want to be free to allow themselves to be attracted to a woman without the obligation to take the engagement ‘all the way to the mattress’. It is a difficult predicament to place ourselves into but that is one of the many allures of tango.

               I think the element of time, of life lived, is an important ingredient in the tango stew. Each person needs to be aware of the consequences of following their urges, their sex drives, and that only comes with experience. It is those experiences which create the cloud in which a person becomes an enigma. When we connect through the tango embrace, it is difficult not to ask your partner, “who are you, where have you been?”

               My plan is to finish this contract and move on to another job, a better job, hopefully a full-time position, with benefits, holidays and vacation. That plan could fall apart if I fall in love. I am committed to this course of action and that is why it is possible for me to dance with these women without angling for sex. But love doesn’t need sex to capture a person’s heart. I could fall in love with this town, with its river and its hiking trails.

               I am a firm believer that men and women can never be just friends. I know that dancing tango is like walking on a narrow stone path, with love on one side and sex on the other, but I think I’ve been doing this dance long enough that I’ve become accustomed to ignoring the precipice on either side of me.

               I’m old enough to know that Life has no tolerance for plans. Love, Sex and Tango are forces of nature that are like storms on the ocean. My boat is small and the ocean is great but, if I use humility as my rudder, I am sure I can sail my way to calmer seas.

Note: Check out my new book on Amazon: Fear of Intimacy and the Tango Cure.

Note: For an in-depth look into the mind of the Kayak Hombre, read his book, available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/River-Tango-perri-iezzoni/dp/1453865527/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369366756&sr=1-1&keywords=River+tango