An interesting phenomenon in tango is the enthusiastic tanguera who has no leader to practice with. She is frustrated but determined. Usually she is successful and got there through her own hard work and dedication. This woman has everything it takes to learn this amazingly complex dance except for a competent partner because it takes two to tango!
I’ve seen these tangueras deal with this problem in a number of different ways. Chief amongst them is the trip to Buenos Aires, some even move down there, so great is their desire to work with an authentic tanguero. Other women become leaders themselves, constantly rationalizing to anyone who will listen that they have no other choice.
Some women will develop ‘tango’ relationships; trysts based almost entirely on attending workshops, milongas and practicas. I was involved in such an affair and I must say it did help me to acquire the skills necessary much faster than if I had done it by myself.
Since then, I’ve been traveling throughout North and South Carolina and Texas. I’ve met many tangueras in this same predicament and I’ve always been happy to make an offer to help. Only one took me up on this offer but I can sympathize with those who didn’t: I arrive like rain in the desert, interrupting the weekly rhythm of their practica - a man who can actually lead a volcada or a boleo. I am like a box of chocolates with one poison piece: tempting but potentially deadly. If I happen to let the river guide in me speak, then the poison pieces multiply!
When you realize how hungry these woman are for leaders, then you can comprehend how truly tragic their situation is. That is the difference between tango and ballroom: the sound of a heart breaking is always in the air. It is unrequited love. This is the true danger for a woman considering whether or not to learn tango or another dance. It is a journey of the heart and soul and there may be deserts to traverse along the way. Happiness is never guaranteed.
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