It is important for a man to avoid speaking at all times while dancing tango. This does not apply exactly to the woman but she should also avoid conversation. Good tango instructors ‘worth their salt’ will not fail to mention this to their students at some time during their education into the idiosyncrasies of this Argentine musical promenade.
I think I know the reason for silence, as far as the man is concerned. I noticed, early on, that a woman was happy to stroll around the dance floor with me as long as I kept my mouth shut. Once I let words fly, it was like the downfall of a house of cards. The follower’s demeanor changed abruptly. All of a sudden she was thinking. I’m not quite sure what was going on inside those girls, but something was in there racing around and it was wreaking havoc like a mouse at a cat show.
Women are amazing creatures! I am sure there is a body organ, not yet discovered, that allows them to tap into some sort of cosmic frequency, giving them special cognitive powers. This is the reason guys don’t have to learn how to follow: we cannot possibly hope to understand what the females are seeing when they dance with us. My advice to leaders is: pay close attention to a woman’s demeanor, there are a lot of clues there as to what you are/aren’t doing right. Study her and you will be a better leader.
Picture this scenario:
I asked her to dance using cabeceo; she sees I have presented myself properly and comes into my frame, close; she feels confident and presses her head against my cheek to establish a third point of contact; she is relaxed in my embrace as I lead her to a cruzada and keep the movements simple throughout the first dance of the tanda; the first song ends and she is wondering what I do for a living: doctor? lots of doctors in this dance; lawyer? not many lawyers; engineer? yeah, lots of engineers in tango; civil? chemical? electrical?
The next song begins: he’s so smooth, he must be into yoga; he’s strong, does he lift weights? I’ll bet he travels a lot; I’d like to decorate his apartment; he’d look good with a man-bag; hmmm, is that the third song already? I hope there’s four selections to this tanda; my place or his place? definitely my place, I wanna enjoy this!
“You the finest smellin’ woman I ever dance wif,” I say.
Imagine the sound of a giant bubble bursting! POP!!!!!
The scenario is slightly different for the woman. Let me offer a little insight into what I’m thinking:
A dance can go two ways if a woman begins talking during a milonga. The first path is very pleasant; she has something interesting to say and the pitch of her voice is very soothing. We talk for the rest of the tanda and I find myself relaxing. The second course is worse. Usually, the follower has some corrections she needs to offer and a one way conversation begins. I answer, but the responses are vacuous, “you’re right…of course, it is all my fault…no, I can hardly tell you just ate a garlic bagel…” This is not a conversation, nor a tango, it is a visit to the dentist or something just as pleasant.
My friend, Ann, commented on an earlier blog about the Love Drug. She mentioned the group experience and how important it was to be aware of the entire gathering. Conversations affect the mood of the entire gathering, not just the couple dancing. She likened the collective ambience to that of Whirling Dervishes, which, I thought, was the name for a pin-wheel attached to a straw, filled with candy. I googled 'Whirling Dervishes' and found out they are Sufi-Muslims who meditate by spinning around. If one Dervish whirls off-kilter, it can disrupt the balance, and meditations, for the whole group.
Heady stuff, I know, but a good thought to remember the next time you feel the urge to say, “Hey, is this Canaro? I love Canaro. I’ve got all his songs…………”
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