Women Lie

                Today, I was in the kitchen with my mother. She was cooking something and I was on the computer, transcribing a war story for my father. I noticed a tanguera was on facebook and remembered her telling me she never goes on facebook. I had checked in many times, this last week, and she was there, almost every time.

               “Women lie,” I said, out loud.

               My mother responded, nonchalantly, “We have to.”

               It occurred to me that lying, in their dealings with men, is a fact of life for women and, it is not such an evil thing for them to do. On the other hand, it is incumbent on the man to tell the truth, especially in matters of the heart, and that is one of the many differences between men and women.

               I know that is saying a lot and is a very provocative statement, but please, allow me to illustrate my point of view. Men are big babies, sometimes, and very sensitized to a woman’s pleasure, or displeasure. We are bigger than them, for the most part, and, if they told us how they really felt, all of the time, it would be like turning a bull loose in an antiques store.

               The reason men are bound by the truth, is to answer that one question in their life when their word means everything: do you love me? That is the question he hears just before the woman gives away that most precious of gifts. There is a reason for that and it usually comes nine months later.

               Twenty years later, our kids are raised and we find ourselves in the embrace of a woman, dancing tango. This is a special place for men, it is the place where that rascally female cannot wiggle her way out of answering the one question that is on our minds: is she pleased with my efforts? Here, there are no words for her to use to evade our inquiry. It is a simple query and we will know by her response whether or not she is telling the truth.

               For most of our lives, women have been lying to us. We take that as their right: the ‘woman’s prerogative’.  When we dance, all we are asking for is an honest answer to the inquiry, “How’re we doing?” In all other aspects of life, we can accept a lie, but not here, not in tango. There are only two answers, pleasure or displeasure. There are many ways to show displeasure, but only one way to express pleasure, and that is by following, even if we are doing it wrong or leading the same step, over and over.

               When a woman anticipates a step, it is a sign of distrust and it is like a lie. In tango, lies are not acceptable and are definitely one of the reasons men don’t ask women back on to the dance floor after their first tanda.