The Paradox of Tango

               In order to lead, a man must neutralize his sex drive...and women like that. It is almost like we are gay, and we all know how much women like gay men. But the sex drive is not really turned off, and women like that, too. That is the paradox of tango.

               I believe the reason for this is that it is important to a woman to feel safe in a man’s embrace before she can proceed to enjoy herself. Creating that sense of security is a huge topic and is ninety-nine percent of the reasons we take lessons. We spend so much time working on our balance, the embrace and movements, that we are blown away when we accidentally encounter our partner enjoying herself.

               Speaking as a man, it is only when we are secure in our own abilities that we can begin making the woman feel safe. Most guys don’t realize this can happen right away. All we have to do is ‘behave’ and walk to the rhythm of the music. Here, too, is another paradox: we can already dance tango, because we can walk, yet we insist on attempting movements beyond our abilities. ‘Behaving’ means not hitting on her. Even though you think you're pretty slick with your questions, she is onto you the second you start to speak, so keep your mouth shut.

               If you stick to the simple movements, she will feel safe, physically, and, if you are quiet, she will feel safe, emotionally. Now we can get to that remaining one percent where all the enjoyment lies. This is another paradox. It is like our economy, one percent of the people have all the money; or, it is like a black hole, how can that tiny thing have so much mass? So, too, it is in tango, that one percent of the woman, we have yet to explore, gives us ninety-nine percent of the reasons to keep coming back.

               Each person is a universe unto themselves. If we can truly see inside another person, this is what we would see: a never ending cosmos full of galaxies of stars. Tango can take us there. Equally marvelous, is having someone looking inside you and seeing a universe there, also. It is almost like love, but love takes commitment, and that, too, is another benefit of tango. When the song ends, the love affair is over. It is also one of the most difficult things to resist, falling into another person’s universe, and, in reality, falling in love.

               So, there you have it, The Paradox of Tango: men must hide their sex drives so women feel safe enough to enjoy themselves and reveal the universe inside them; this, in turn, allows them to look inside us and see the universe that lies within, sex drive and all. This is a powerful thing. It is like fire, if handled properly, it can make life wonderful; if we are not careful, however, we will most definitely get burned.